Why is This Appropriate?

Why is it socially acceptable to suggest that a woman is pregnant just because she isn't feeling well one day? I don't get this. I have never, and would never, imply that maybe a woman is pregnant just because she is nauseous or not feeling well. Stop that! Guess what...there are other things in the world that make a woman sick. Need examples to inform your single-minded self? Ok...I'll be happy to enlighten you. On any given day, a woman might eat something that doesn't agree with her. Perhaps she ate something bad that had some bacteria in it. Perhaps her intestinal fortitude is a little off and whatever she ate triggered a bad reaction. And, while we don't talk about it in public too much because it is a little bit of a taboo topic, perhaps it is the time of the month. And, that doesn't necessarily mean her time of the month. It could me she is ovulating. It could mean her period has just ended. Regardless, that cycle is very hard on our bodies and we have good days where we can eat anything and feel fine. And we have bad days where there is just nothing in this world but the passage of time that will make it all better. Need another example of what might cause a woman to feel nauseous, headachey, fatigued or just overall icky? Ok...how about the flu? The common cold? Not enough sleep the night before? Or...a hangover? Whatever the reason may be, it is never EVER appropriate to be so presumptuous as to suggest to a woman that she could be pregnant. You don't know what her situation is. And, while this is not the case for me, perhaps you should consider what wound you may be opening up. What do I mean? There are women in the world who can't get pregnant...no matter how badly they want to be. So, you may just suggest that to the wrong woman one day and, while she will probably be too classy to call you out and make you feel bad for having made her feel bad, she will be hurting and you have probably just ruined her entire day. So shut up with that crap! Women should know better than to suggest that as it has probably been suggested to them a number of times since puberty. But, even women can be inconsiderate and inappropriate on this subject. I think it has something to do with wanting so badly for you to be pregnant. Whatever the reason...it is still wrong and you shouldn't do it...EVER! And men...we can't suggest things like that to you when you aren't feeling well. So, how about we just get inappropriate and ask you about your sex life? Are you tired today because you spent all night trying to get your boner up but are currently experiencing some impotence? And, before you wonder why I would drag your sex life into this, consider what you are doing when you suggest a woman is pregnant just because she isn't feeling well. You are basically making assumptions about her sex life. So, why shouldn't I make assumptions about your sex life?

Ok...so I know this was totally off the wall and out of the blue. But, it has been something on my mind and, while I can't say it in public I do feel like people should get this little education in sensitivity. Just think before you ask a question like that. Most of us know not to just assume that a woman is pregnant because she is carrying some weight in her stomach as people have been mortified when they ask "when are you due?" and get the response, "I'm not pregnant." So, if you are careful not to offend someone by implying she is pregnant when she may just be overweight, why is it ok to suggest that someone who may have just had too much to drink the night before, be pregnant? It's not! What is inside our bellies is no one's business until we want people to know. Nausea no more equals pregnant for a woman than it does for a man. Just suggest an antacid, give get well wishes and keep your thoughts to yourself.

Creativity is Good For My Soul

I think I finally found something that is truly good for my soul. I have always been a creative and crafty girl. I drew a lot when I was younger, I made jewelry out of beads and string, I did needle point work and pretty much loved all things crafty. A month ago today, a close friend had a crafting party at her house where she taught me, and 5 other girls how to make 2 cards and a "pillow box"...a small box in the shape of a pillow in which you can put candy or something small to give to someone else as a gift. I had so much fun. It brought me back in touch with my crafty side. I have been hooked ever since! I've made multiple cards and gift boxes and, when I am done with each project, I have such a sense of pride and accomplishment. Since I have been unemployed, I have been pretty miserable as far as my confidence and self-worth is concerned. Those two things took a serious blow and my ego has been very low. But, with each card or gift box that I create with my own two hands, my self-confidence builds. One of my neighbors has told me that she will pay me for my work. I even impressed my hubby the other day, which is no small feat.

So, I have included some of my creations for you all to see. If you have something to say about them, feel free. And, be honest. If you think they suck, tell me. I can take it. I probably won't agree but, I can take it! ;)

P.S.
Yes...each one of those cake slices is a separate box. You would use it for a Birthday Party or Bridal Shower and you could fill each Box Slice with candy or party favors and give them to your guests. It took a while to make but, for my first time having made that cake, I am pretty proud of it!

Business Barracuda

I am not the biggest Feminist in the history of the world but, as a lady, I stand up and applaud any woman who has made a success out of herself and her product, whatever that product may be. And, if you show me 5 successful business women, the one I will scream and cheer the loudest for will be the one who has made herself a successful business woman without being a Business Barracuda. Never heard that term before? You shouldn't have. I just made it up. I think it applies to the bitch I used to work for. Yea...I know. When a woman is successful in business she is considered a bitch. Believe me...I hate calling her anything derogatory. Like I said, I applaud the successful business women of this world because, like it or not, it is a man's world. But, I think that you can be a successful business woman without resorting to being a bitch. Unfortunately, the woman I used to work for never got that memo.

So, here is my story. I went from an easy, barely did much of anything kind of job run by two men, that I worked for for over 6 years, to a job run by a Chinese woman whose only real constant employees were her 22 year old son and her husband. I was a Temp and I worked my ass off for 5 months at that job trying to make permanent. And I really mean that. I learned so much and busted my ass every single work day at that job. My manager loved me. Granted, she and I had our moments but, she always told me what a "good worker" and a "hard worker" I was. She gave me way more than my fair share of stuff to do and taught me tons of stuff. And I loved it. I loved having more work than I could handle because it meant that I worked hard for my paycheck and I left that office every day with a sense of accomplishment. As I mentioned, the job that I had before the last one was very easy. I was the Administrative Assistant and it wasn't a very busy office. I answered the phones which, on some days, may not ring more than once an hour and sometimes, less than that. My two bosses weren't there that much, maybe an hour or two each day. Most days, and most of the day, I was the only person there. If the bosses needed me to do anything, they would call me and let me know what they needed. I would write up a quote based on the information they gave me. I did some data entry. I put together sample packs. I mailed and FedExed some stuff out now and then but, it really was the kind of job where you spend the majority of your time surfing the web, reading a book and occasionally, falling asleep when you were sick or getting sick. Don't get me wrong, I liked it enough to stay for 6 years until new management brought their Administrative Assistant and didn't have a place for me anymore. So, I moved on to a Temp job. I loved the ladies I worked with. I got along well with them all. But, there begins part of the reason that the Business Barracuda let me go. She didn't really want her employees to talk to one another. Not while we were working and not even after work. She had been known to let people go because she found out that they had exchanged phone numbers and had spent time hanging out together. And, I'm not talking about male/female relationships. I'm talking about friendships. She didn't want her employees to develop friendships. But, I'm sorry...that is impossible. When you work for 8 hours a day with people, you develop friendships with your co-workers. It is as natural as leaves on trees. It's a little thing called Human Nature. We are born to seek companionship. Not just physical companionship born out of emotional love for someone of the opposite, and sometimes same, gender. Companionship born out of the need to forge friendships with other people in the world. But, she couldn't tolerate it. So, we all tried to be friendly without pissing Business Barracuda off. A lot of good that did us.

I was a model employee. I was late only once and it was for a doctor's appointment which I told Business Barracuda about 2 weeks in advance. I never left early. I never took more than my 30 minutes for lunch break. Which, by the way, is illegal in the state of Georgia. Our employment law dictates that for every 8 hours of work an employee does, they get one half an hour lunch and two 15 minute breaks. Business Barracuda only allowed us one half an hour lunch. And, if you think that there was a way you could get around it, think again. She had cameras all over the office so, she knew where everyone was at all times. She knew when you came in in the morning, took your lunch break (there was a camera in the break room also), went to the bathroom (none in there but a few cameras in the hall) and left for the day. And, while no one ever found one, we were all fairly certain she had each office wired for sound because she had said specific things to a few other people referencing conversations we had had, that she could never have heard unless the rooms were wired for sound.

You might be on her good side for a few days. You would know that by the way she would acknowledge you. Either by a smile, a nod or she might actually joke around with you. But, in a blink of an eye you would be on her bad side. You would have absolutely no idea what you did to be on her bad side. Your work would be perfect. You would be obeying every single rule but, she would be as cold as ice to you. She wouldn't acknowledge you as you passed her in the hall. Either not by returning your smile, hello or nod. She may not even look at you if you two had lunch at the same time in the break room. If she did say something to you it might be snide and snarky. And, while she may approve of you for a few days, she would disapprove of you for no less than 2 weeks. She once despised me for an entire month. I really couldn't tell you what I did wrong.

Your physical appearance was under constant scrutiny. From your head to your toes and everything in between. I was told what it looked like when Business Barracuda approved of how you looked. She would either give you the elevator eyes followed by a smile and a nod or she would come into your office space, again with the elevator eyes and give you an actual thumbs up. I have been told by many people that I have great style. I won't deny that. I won't even try to be modest about it. I do have style. I like fashion and I would always bring my A game but, I never got Business Barracuda's approval. Of course, there is one thing I can improve on. I don't pay much attention to my feet. I don't mean as far as footwear. I am a shoe girl. What girl isn't? We can't help ourselves. Shoes rock our worlds. And, I am no exception to that rule. What I mean is my nails. I don't entirely love a pedicure. I did finally find a place that I could tolerate a pedicure from but, I have extremely ticklish feet. Not just the bottoms of my feet but the tops too. So, pedicures are like torture for me. And, having my toe nails painted seems like a waste of time and money. They are only going to chip within an hour of getting them done, I always end up getting some kind of nasty infection in my toe nails when I do have them painted so, why bother? But, in Business Barracuda's mind, you might as well be walking around with shit smeared all over your feet if you don't get regular pedicures. Not that she ever expressed that opinion in words. It was only written all over her face. So, I am the scum of the Earth.

So now the part where I tell you how ruthless Business Barracuda is. My nieces and nephew came for a visit. I had asked for the time off about a month before they came. They were coming on a Wednesday. I asked if I could work a half a day for the Wednesday so that I wouldn't miss most of their first day here. She was cool with me taking the time off. That Monday she told me to just take the entire Wednesday off. I could have used the money but, I was happy that I would be able to go with the hubby to pick the kids up. That Monday night she had my Temp agency call me and ask me to take all of my personal stuff home with me Tuesday after work. My radio, any pictures, whatever I had in my drawers. I had a sinking feeling as I asked my agency if I was losing my job. They said no. They told me that she said she just didn't want to be responsible for anything going missing or being broken while I was gone. I didn't believe her because I have a strong instinct and I am rarely wrong but, I was cautiously optimistic. So, I started my vacation after work Tuesday night. Had a wonderful day with the kids and my hubby Wednesday. Thursday we went tubing on the local river and I had a message on my cell phone from my temp agency to call them back, when we got back to the car. So, I took a deep breath knowing what I was about to hear and I made that call. Yup...I was through. But, not just me...2 other girls. Business Barracuda got rid of me and 2 other girls in the same week. She even asked my manager what she thought about getting rid of me and my manager told her she didn't want to lose me because I had done so much for the company. I had learned so much and I was an asset. My last day, I busted my butt there. I got everything done that needed to be done. I didn't leave anything for anyone to have to pick up my slack. Every pile was gone. All the filing was done. Every quote I was given was done to perfection. My desk was pristine. That bitch...I mean, Business Barracuda, canned me anyway. Since then, she has struggled to find a replacement and that was nearly a year ago. My manager quit and, while there were 11 total people in that office when she let me and my other 2 co-workers go, she has been struggling to keep any more than 4 employees, not including her hubby and her son.

So, that is a Business Barracuda. She is exactly the reason that people don't think that woman can run a company without being a bitch. It makes me sad to call her a bitch and a Business Barracuda. I would love to cheer loudly for her as a woman. But, sadly she feeds the stereotype.

Beer Goggles?

Nicole Forrester VS
Stacy Ferguson
Michelle "Bombshell" McGee VS
Sandra Bullock


Attention Jesse James and Josh Duhamel: What the fuck is wrong with you two? You infuriate me. I am not an expert at beautiful women but, come on. Anyone with vision can see how very beautiful Sandra Bullock and Stacy Ferguson are. So, what prompted you to cheat on your beautiful wives with the likes of Nicole Forrester and Michelle McGee? Was it Beer Goggles? Because that is the only way I can imagine that you could blank out on the beautiful faces of the women you idiots fall asleep next to each night and do some stupid scumbag crap with the likes of those two lesser attractive women. For a straight chic, I think I have pretty good taste in women and, neither Nicole Forrester, nor Michelle "Bombshell" McGee are a blip on my radar. Ok...I'll give Michelle props for her body but, of what I have seen of Sandra Bullock's body, she's pretty sexy. And Josh...you had to be smashed to think that Nicole was even remotely attractive. She isn't the ugliest woman on God's green Earth but, when compared to Fergie...for real?

So, how does that saying go? For every beautiful woman, there is some man that is sick of her shit. Well, how about this? For every man that is sick of a beautiful woman's shit, that beautiful woman is sick of his slimeball, cheating ass.

Not All That It Is Cracked Up To Be

I lost my job in June 2009 and that came off the heals of having lost a job that I had been with for 6+ years. I won't get into the story of my last 2 jobs and how or why I lost them here. I have another issue to discuss, bitch about and inform you all on right now. And, that subject is the myth that I am lucky that I don't have to work. Don't get me wrong...I am lucky to be in a position where my husband has the kind of career that can afford us the luxury of being a single income household and to be doing well. I am not trying to come across as spoiled or unappreciative. I really do appreciate my luck. But, staying home really isn't all that it is cracked up to be. My husband doesn't want me to work. At least, not right now. And, most everyone will tell me that I am lucky that I don't have to work. Of course, they tell me that because they have to get up early in the morning and do the daily routine of getting ready for work, going to a job they probably don't entirely love, working with some people they may hate, and coming home only to have to repeat that maybe 16 or so hours later. I get that. I've done the daily job grind. Now this is what people don't get about my "job". Yes, I am home every day. No, I don't have a set time I have to get up or a set time I have to be somewhere. But, I do set a time that I want to be up by because I feel like a loser if I don't get out of bed by then. And, I do have things that I do every day. Lonely, boring, same old same old, repetitive stuff. I get up, eat some breakfast, brush my teeth, get dressed, do my hair and makeup, get some coffee, goof off online for a bit, make the bed, clean the litter boxes, do the dishes, straighten up whatever needs to be straightened up around the house, goof off online some more, eat lunch alone, feed the dog, gather and take the trash out on trash day, run any errands the husband asked me to run for the day, make dinner, eat it alone, clean up after dinner while leaving the rest to sit and get cool until the husband gets home, clean up the rest of dinner, watch a little bit of TV with my husband, goof off online some more, shower and get ready for bed. Then, I do it all over again the next day. On Wednesdays and Thursdays I clean the house for an hour or an hour and a half a day. And on Fridays I vacuum and mop the house which can take me about 2 hours. This is my life. I don't do much else. And, I know that some people will still say that they would switch places with me but, believe me...after you have spent several months alone doing the same shit each day, you won't want to do it anymore.

For most people , work is just a paycheck. That is the way they think of it. But, take away the social interaction that people get with their co-workers and the interruptions that they get throughout the day with new tasks or just the few different things that they are given to do and then, yes...work can be just a paycheck. Work, to me, is a place you go to feel accomplished each day. A place you get to see other faces. Talk to other people. It is just me, my 3 cats and my dog here every single day. Now and then I get a lunch date with my husband or one of my friends but, it isn't like a job where you get to be away from your house every day and talk to your co-workers.

When was the last time you woke up excited about cleaning your house, your litter boxes, doing the dishes and making the bed? People think that I am on a permanent vacation. They are jealous of me. But, think for a second about how excited about cleaning your house you get when you have to do it and maybe you will think twice about being jealous of me.

Again, I am grateful for all that I have and for the ability to live the life I live but, this isn't a vacation. A vacation is fun. You go places. Do things. See people. Relax. What I do is lonely. It is repetitive. It is boring and I hate it. I love the sense of accomplishment a job gives me. When I walked out of the office each day, when I was employed, I felt good about myself. I worked hard and I did a fantastic job. Sure, my bosses were pains in the butt and some of the people I worked with sucked so bad both at their job and as a human, that I wanted to remove parts of my own body just so I could beat them with whatever I tore off. But, it wasn't lonely. Every day was interesting in one way or another. I had things to talk about. I had people to talk about those things with. Now I talk about the spider I saw in my sink. What my cats or my dog did the other day. A TV show I watched.

Work people. And don't take it for granted. Boredom and loneliness sucks. A lack of accomplishment wears on your ego. It is embarrassing to say "nothing" when someone you just met asks you what you do. I hate this. And, for the record, I want to kick you in the head when you tell me how lucky I am that I don't work and that I don't have to work. I would rather be working.

Guilty By Association

It has been awhile since I have harped on this person but, I have a new hatred for her. Who? Britney Spears. Yea, I know. What has she done to you lately? Well, she clouded my judgment which seems impossible but, she really did. Actually, I guess she really only clouded it a little. And, here is how. I chose to dislike Kevin Federline because of the bad press that she brought upon him. That being said, I did find myself often thinking that he was the better parent of the two nitwits. But, I still wasn't giving him full credit.

I am not saying he is a saint. He did cheat on his ex with Britney, while his ex was pregnant with their child. That will never be something he can take back and make right.

Why have I suddenly had a change of heart, or a bettering of a not entirely poor opinion of him? As I have said before, I have a bit of a weakness for reality TV and one of my on-again, off-again guilty pleasure shows is Celebrity Fit Club. I have not seen every season. At least, I don't think I have. But, I did catch this most recent season and Kevin Federline was one of the 8 celebrities in this season. He really is a good guy...cheating past not to be ignored but, bygones is the word of the day here. He owns his past mistakes. He is a hard worker. He's humble. And, the reason that people never got to see or hear his side of anything is because he is silent. If anyone would have given him a chance to come out of Britney's shadow, they might have seen the well intentioned person that he really is. If his agents would have given him the opportunity to say his mia culpas, all of the U.S. may have refrained from such names as "Federleazy". We would still have felt for Shar Jackson, his ex and the mother of some of his kids, but, they probably wouldn't have seen him as such a disgusting waste of a pound of flesh.

So, while it will likely not mean a darn thing to him, I do have new found respect for Kevin Federline and I fully believe that Britney Spears is the reason behind his bad reputation. He is not the bad boy that she and the media made him out to be.

Oh...and I wouldn't be doing my non-job if I didn't express my opinion on Britney's comeback, which I know I am a couple months late on talking about. I think it is crap. I don't believe that her crazy girl, slutty girl, trash bag past is behind her. I think that, as long as she stays under her father's conservatorship, she will appear normal and even healthy but, she isn't fooling me. She has shown a couple of times that when her father loosens the reigns just a little bit, she starts to slip. Questionable behavior starts to happen and her inner nut job whore starts to rear its ugly head. This is, of course, only my opinion. And, I hope for her sake, that I am proven wrong. I just see a very tragic Anna Nicole Smith type of a future for her. I truly will be happy to express my own mia culpa if I am proven wrong someday.

I Saw The Signs...

Is reality TV making us all experts at failed love? I must admit that, I have a small addiction to reality TV. I don't always watch them all and, there are some that I won't watch, some that I will watch religiously and, some that I only tune into if it happens to be on when I am channel surfing and can't find anything better. One such show is Little People, Big World. It is about a husband and wife who are "Little People" more commonly known as, but not entirely politically correct, dwarfs or midgets. I have tuned in now and then, throughout the years that they have been on the air and, over the course of the last season, they were showing some problems in their marriage. She had a speaking engagement and had told him about it. He insists she didn't tell him about it and made a plan for the family to go to the British Virgin Islands. In another episode, it was Mother's Day and their twins' 19th birthday and he planned to take a trip, by himself, to Maui, Hawaii. Who does that? It hurt her feelings but she said that she wasn't going to grovel and try to talk him into staying and celebrating Mother's Day and the twins' birthdays with her and their kids. He expressed a minor bit of regret for having planned his trip at that time but said that, and yes, he actually said this shit, sometimes it is a better gift to get out of her way and leave her alone to celebrate Mother's Day. He said, "Sometimes it's a vacation when I leave people alone. It's like, hey Amy, you know what your present is for Mother's Day this year, I'm gonna leave you completely alone." Way to justify leaving your wife on Mother's Day you jerk.

So, I see this marriage crumbling. I rarely watched John and Kate Plus Eight but, it seems the deterioration of their marriage may have been evident to their viewers before it actually ended. I can't help but feel like a little bit of an expert these day, while watching these shows.

And now for the next question...is reality television a curse on a marriage? I have seen the previews for the newest season's premiere episode and it appears that they are trying to take another family vacation and he is screwing it up for everyone. And, I have seen the previews for Tori and Dean's reality show about their relationship...it has a new name and I am too lazy right now to interrupt my own writing to see what name it is going by now...and it looks as though their relationship is a little bit rocky in the new season as well. Granted, he cheated on his ex-wife with her so, while I always hoped the best for Tori, I can't say that I would be shocked to open up People magazine and see that they had split up. And no, to my knowledge, they have not split up. I'm not saying, I'm just saying.

So, the moral of the story is, don't make your relationship public on TV. While your marriage without TV may have issues and may not always be perfect, and it may fail anyway...if you want a fighting chance, don't put it on the airwaves.

It Was Time...

UPDATE:

All apologies for how late this update is but, better late than never.
I went to my new OBGYN and, of course, she asked me, suggested that I, recommended that I, told me, ordered me to get a Mammogram. Actually, more specifically, a Baseline Mammogram so that, in another 3 years when I am 40 and need to start getting Mammograms on a yearly basis, they will have a Mammogram to compare my 40 year old ta-tas to. Yippy freaking skippy!

So, I went home and, against my nature, I did not procrastinate. I nearly immediately called the number that my doctor provided, to schedule my appointment for my first Mammogram. I knew that if I didn't do it immediately, I would procrastinate until she had to yell at me to do it a year from now when I go back to see her for my annual checkup.

I begrudgingly went. All along hating Mother Nature, God or just my Dad's sperm and my Mom's egg for daring to have the gall to make me a girl which gave me boobies. I walked into the office where they do such a heinous, undesirable, cruel and inhumane thing to man's favorite toy. What? Duh...breasts! What did you think I meant? The remote? Who would Mammogram a remote? And just how would that be inhumane? Come on...get with the program here.

Anyway, the woman whose job it was to check me in, was really nice. She tried to calm my nerves by telling me that it wasn't the most painful thing. She said it was painful but not that bad. And, she asked me what my pain tolerance was. When I told her that I have 2 tattoos she said that I would have no problem with a Mammogram. Of course, she didn't have any tattoos so, basically she wouldn't really know just how painful a tattoo was in comparison to having the ever loving shit squeezed out of your tits. But, I digress. She told me I would be fine and sent me to sit in the waiting room.

My Radiologist (I think that is her title) came and got me and she really couldn't have been more sweet. She was really nice, calming and kind...for a woman whose job it is to manhandle another woman's boobies. Seriously. She moves them around. Picks them up. Plops them down...for those women who have big enough boobs to plop down. Shifts them left. Nudges them right. Tugs them forward. And then smooshes them between two cold, unforgiving square something or others. One is glass and I can't remember what the other was. Metal I think. And yes...it hurt. Like a Mother Fucker. But, not as bad as I thought it was going to. Not even bad enough to have me dreading my next visit in 3 years. Don't get me wrong...I would have loved to be able to remove my tits and throw them at someone if it meant the 5 seconds of pain I did experience would stop. But, that being said, it honestly wasn't that bad. If I had a choice between getting my ta-tas fondled and then smashed every 6 months or go to the dentist, believe it or not, I would chose to have my ta-tas smashed every six months. I never thought I would say it but, I hate the dentist more than having my boobs barbarically mistreated between 2 cold hard surfaces.

Oh...and to answer the question about bigger versus smaller? Smaller hurts worse. If Righty could have screamed, she would have while Lefty might have just muttered a quiet "Ouch". So, for all of you big breasted women who say it hurts worse the bigger your ladies are...SHUT THE FUCK UP! I know from experience. I have both to draw from. It may hurt you but, I promise you that it hurts me worse and it hurts my right lady worse than my left one. Put that in your pipe and smoke it!

Is It Time or Not Just Yet?

I'm hoping for "Not just yet." What am I talking about? The dreaded Mammogram. I am 37 years old now and tomorrow I am going to see my OBGYN for a checkup. I have heard conflicting stories on when women should start having Mammograms. Most say 40 but, some say 35. I am trying out a new doctor tomorrow so, I don't know which side of that 5 year difference she falls on. And, since I haven't been to see one in 2 or 3 years, I am worried she may decide to punish me for not keeping up with the health of my ta-tas and my na na na na and send me cringing towards the Mammogram. NOOOOOOOOOOOO! I have never heard one good thing about a Mammogram. Of course, it depends on who you talk to. Ladies with small ladies say that the smaller your ladies are, the worse it is. Then, ladies with bigger ladies say the bigger your ladies are the worse it is. My question is: HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW? If you have big girls, you probably have always had big girls, at least, while you have been of the age to get Mammograms. And, say you got them enhanced, you probably still never had to have a Mammogram when they were small and, I have to imagine that you can't get a mammogram with implants because...well, forgive my stupidity but, wouldn't that pop them?
And, to the ladies with small ta-tas, how do you know if it hurts less with bigger ta-tas? If you have never had them, who are you to say how bad or how good, how painful or how less painful another person's experience is. So, shut up. I think it hurts for everyone. How could it not? You are taking your boobies and unnaturally smooshing and flattening them to the thickness of a pancake between 2 cold, metal, unforgiving, cruel plates while someone snaps a picture of your poor abused girls. What could possibly be fun or gentle about that. And, don't get me wrong. Like I said, I have never had one but, logically, I know what is involved. It is not that big of a stretch of an imagination to figure that there is a really awful, tear jerking, mind numbing, wanting to throw something at someone, amount of pain.
So, here is my next question: we can put a man on the moon and make a small portable device that, at its biggest is no bigger than the average hand, that can fit tens of thousands of songs on it. So, why the fuck can't we figure out how to take a high resolution picture of our tits without turning them into pancakes and putting every woman into tears? Just saying.

Teen Mom

It seems somehow wrong to say but, I love this show. It airs on MTV on Tuesdays at 10 PM ET/PT and, it blows me away every time I watch it. It chronicles the lives of 4 young mothers. Their journeys started last year on the show 16 and Pregnant.

The four girls are Maci, Farrah, Catelynn and Amber.

Of the four of these girls, 3 of them are still in a relationship with the father of their babies. Farrah is the only "single" mother. Maci and Ryan are in a constant battle in their relationship. He doesn't give her the kind of support she needs and she has already broken up with him, only to get back together with him. He promises to change but, it seems like that change is always fleeting at best.

Amber and Gary are always in a relationship struggle too. She is trying to get her GED and his selfishness keeps getting in the way. She too broke up with him and moved out of his apartment. She stayed in a hotel for a week which seemed to have slapped Gary with the harsh reality of losing both her and his daughter. He generously gave up his apartment to Amber and their baby and, in an effort to give Amber some space while providing her with a place to live, he moved back in with his mother for the time being. He seems willing to make the necessary changes for the benefit of his child. We'll see.

Farrah is a train wreck. She lives with her mother and, I think, stepfather. She is determined not to let motherhood interrupt her life as a "normal teenager". So, she is always on the search for a guy and goes out to have fun. I don't know how often she goes out but, each episode has her going out here and there so, it can't be too seldom. Her mother is a bit overbearing but, I can see where she is coming from. She just wants Farrah to stop being so selfish and finally realize that she is a mother and, now isn't the time to be acting like a "normal teenager" while expecting her mother to raise her baby.

This brings me to Catelynn and Tyler. I love these two kids. They continuously amaze me. They chose to give their daughter, Carly, up for adoption. They found a couple who was willing to do an open adoption. Of course, their are limitations. They keep in touch with the adoptive parents and are allowed to visit with Carly maybe a few times a year. They correspond through emails and get photos of her. They miss her terribly but, they know they made the right decision. They are the only couple out of all of these kids who really seem like they will last. Tyler has got to be one of the best guys out there. He is incredibly supportive and, of all of these kids, I think they would have been the best parents. That being said, I commend them for their decision to have their daughter adopted. I can't say enough good about these two kids. They handled everything responsibly. The genuine love between them in the face of such a hard decision and the following impact of having made the decision to give their daughter up is palpable. I can't help but root for them both. I want their relationship to work and for them to grow through their teens, young adulthood, adulthood, and elder years as a couple. I hope that they last and someday are able to have children together.

So, again...I love this show. I feel for all of them and their struggles. Catelynn and Tyler give me hope for our youth when I see how selfless they have proven to be and how strong their bond is. I hope the best for Farrah and I really hope to see her grasp the concept of her role as a young mother in this world. I hope to see Gary and Ryan become the fathers that they should be. And, I hope that Amber and Maci get the support they need and deserve from Gary and Ryan. I hope that Gary can keep up the effort that he showed Amber in this week's episode and I would love to see the therapy session that Ryan and Maci attended be as beneficial as it seemed to be at the end of the most recent episode.

I have high hopes for all of the teens.

It's That Time of The Year Again...

Yup! It's fall and Thanksgiving has officially come and gone. What does that usually mean for me? A lot of things. Most years we have family come here from out of town and this year was no different. My Mother and Father--in-Law and my Sister--in-Law and her boyfriend came for a visit this year. I did my usual turkey with all the delicious sides. I might do a blog entry dedicated to my turkey recipe later but, for now, this entry is about something totally different.

I always get stressed out this time of year because I have a lot of work ahead of me. Which, for me, usually means that I will get sick in one way or another. I tend to get Bronchitis, a sinus infection and some kind of viral thing. I managed to make it through Thanksgiving healthy last year but, ended up getting sick for Christmas, if memory serves. But, over the past nearly 3 years, I have been taking probiotics and immune builders. They really have saved me. Instead of being sick for up to 5 months (from October to March or later) I was only sick for less than 2 weeks last year. A first, for me, since I could remember. I even managed to avoid catching the swine flu from my hubby and his 2 friends when they all had it at the same time. But, that was about 3 or so weeks ago. We threw a party a couple weeks ago and there was another party in the cold night air, in my cul'd'sac in front of my house the week before that. So, I have been a busy girl this season and let myself get run down. I caught a nasty cold 2 days before Thanksgiving. I was really sick the day before when I had to spend the day making my baked goods. My Apple Pie and my Pumpkin Cheesecake Swirl Pie, while delicious, took much longer to make because I had a runny nose all day and was feeling sluggish and just not at all well. So, I really expected to be feeling like a cross hair in a dog's butt today (Thanksgiving) and was not looking forward to my day of meal preparation. But, in addition to my probiotics and immune builders, I started using a Neti Pot. For those of you who don't know what that it, it is a small, blue tea pot shaped plastic thing. You put a package of their saline solution in the pot and fill it to the line with luke warm water and you put it in one nostril, tip your head and pour the solution into that nostril. The solution flows through that nostril and out through your other one by way of your nasal passage. It cleans out and dries out your nasal passage which either helps keep you healthy or makes you healthy sooner. I used it 3 or 4 times throughout the day Thanksgiving Eve and, like magic, I was so much better Thanksgiving day (today). I couldn't believe how much better I already was. Granted, by the end of the night, I was feeling a little worse for the wear but, I tend to feel worse at night when I am sick, than any part of the day. So, I used my Neti Pot 2 more times today and, right now, I am feeling pretty good again. I am looking forward to seeing how I feel tomorrow! After almost 37 years of my life, I think I finally have the key to either preventing illness, or kicking it quicker once I do get sick.

Now, as for any discomfort while using the Neti Pot...there really isn't any. I can't describe it. You really have to try it yourself. It takes some getting used to but, if I can handle it, anyone can. There isn't any pain. Just, fresh air when you are done. The relief is amazing. I will say that you won't feel that much relief if you are using it the first day you are all stuffed up or drippy nosed from a bad cold but, the next day...AMAZING! I woke up this morning fully expecting to start hacking a lung with a severe cough and either all stuffed up or for my nose to be draining like a sieve... as it normally would be but, nothing. A few minor coughs here and there and a need to blow my nose a few times throughout the day but, in light of how horrible I normally feel the 3rd day of a bad cold, I kind of felt like a new person. Even in comparison to the day before.

So, I highly recommend people spend the $14 or more to get the Neti Pot. It saved my Thanksgiving and, who knows how many sick days it has already saved me.

All hail the Neti Pot!

Awww....

New Brows!!!

Drum roll please! Behold...my new brows! This is not the best picture of me but, it will do! The point is my eye brows! Finally! I can get up and get out of the house without having to draw my eye brows on. I still feel a need to put on some eyeliner, foundation and blush but, I would feel fairly more confident leaving the house without any makeup on now. And, starting in March, I will finally be able to go swimming without worrying that I will have a bald forehead. The reason I have to wait till March is to give my brows the proper 6 month healing time. And, the chlorine and chemicals in pool water can damage my brows before that time so, I will wait. But, rest assured...when those 6 months have finally passed, I will take full advantage of it!

Affinity Stoneworks

The first and second pictures are of the finished product. The third picture is a close-up shot of back splashes and granite. The forth picture is a great shot of my island. We love the beautiful knot center left of the island. The fifth picture is the kitchen before with the white laminate and no back splashes.

Note: Sorry that these pictures are not in order from before to after. I set them up that way but, that isn't the way the ended up.

And now...our story!
Wow! I have a new kitchen. After 8 years of living here and roughly 5 years, give or take, of trying to figure out what we wanted to do, the hubby and I finally got new granite counter tops and back splashes in our kitchen. We had white laminate and painted walls before. This is our first house so, we didn't really know how much the extras really enhance things until we saw it in other people's homes.

So, since practically the beginning, we talked about having new counter tops and back splashes done. We started thinking seriously about it 5 years, give or take, ago. But, we were stymied by what exactly we wanted. It was between Corian, Granite and Silestone. I spent lots of time reading up on all 3 materials but, if there are 10 good things about each, there are equally as many bad things about each. So, then we narrowed it down to Granite or Silestone. Again...the good and the bad were equal. In the end, Granite won out because I don't like the speckled patterns in Silestone. They can not duplicate the beautiful linear patterns of the Granite in Silestone. So, after a very long time of searches, culminating in frustration which always resulted in the project falling by the waist side, we finally got our acts together and made our granite decision.

It all started around a month ago when the hubby said that this is the year we do the kitchen. The biggest reason is because I am between jobs right now and have ample time to stay home for people to come and do work. So, I set out to figure out which we wanted. Granite versus Silestone. Once I made my decision, I set out to find the pattern. I looked online and found something I thought that I would like and got pricing from a popular home repair company. We were about to pull the trigger and have them come and do the job when the hubby suggested I go to Affinity Stoneworks to look at some of their granite to make sure that there wasn't another granite pattern that I liked better. I didn't see anything I fell in love with at Affinity so they sent me to their warehouse, G&L Marble. I walked through and they pointed out what they thought was comparable to the pattern I found online. It was completely different than what I thought it was. I wanted something rich chocolate brown and it was actually very pink or mauve. I was disheartened and annoyed and left not having found what I wanted. I was about to wash my hands of this project yet again, out of shear frustration. I told the hubby I wanted to be free of talking about and thinking about the project for 24 hours so I could start with a rested and cooler head. Then I asked him to come with me to the warehouse because I did see some slabs that I kind of liked but really wanted his opinion. We went on a Saturday and we finally fell head over heels for a slab. The name was Dunes and it is this perfect mixture of brown, charcoal, copper and tan and has these beautiful and unique charcoal knots throughout the slabs. We had them hold the slabs, which had previously been held by someone else. We also got an idea of what we wanted for our back splashes which was 6" x 6" tiles called Espresso and 2" x 2" inserts called Tantrum Earth. We then had them come out and tear up our white laminate and do the measurements and templates for the granite. I went and helped them place the templates on the granite where I wanted them so they could cut them the next day. The only drama was that we had to live without our kitchen for a week before they could come out and do the install. Of course, that included the sink because we picked out a new granite composite sink and new bronze faucet. That was hard to get used to because we didn't have counters or plumbing in our kitchen for a week. Really an inconvenience but well worth it.

They came and installed the counters and sink but, we still couldn't use the sink until the next day as the glue had to set. Then, the next day, they did the install of the back splash. Whew...that was a long day. They arrived around 9:15or 9:30 AM and weren't done until about 5 or 5:15 PM. We also had the same guys who did our back splashes come back the next day and do recessed lighting for us. Our original lighting was one hideous florescent light above our Island, one recessed light above our sink and one hanging light over our kitchen table. We had 8 can lights installed which really brightens the kitchen and they are so much more modern than the awful florescent light the contractor installed when they built my house 8 years ago. The last thing we need done is to repaint my ceiling. My kitchen is a celadon green and the ceiling is a lighter shade of that green. So light, in fact, that most people think that it is white until we point it out...or you see the difference from the white rectangle left behind from the florescent light.

So, if you live in Georgia and are considering getting granite and back splashes installed in your kitchen or bathroom, go with Affinity Stoneworks http://www.affinitystoneworks.com/ They are brilliant. They are so knowledgeable. Anything I had questions about were answered on the spot. They are all very friendly and really seem to love what they do. And, if their friendly professionalism isn't enough to snag you, their reasonable prices should. We got estimates from 2 other vendors, both chains and commonly known home repair companies, and Affinity's prices were about 70% less for everything: laminate removal and haul away, granite, install, sink and disposal removal and install, back splash material and install and lighting. The estimate we got from the one big chain store was just for the removal of our laminate counters and the granite and install. We can imagine that if we had also gotten an estimate for the back splash, the entire job might have been twice as much or pretty close.

3rd Time is the Charm? Fingers Crossed.

I just got my eyebrows done for the third time. I have read that it can take 3 times for some people before they get the results that they want so, I am not disheartened. In fact, the 2nd time really did take pretty well but, as I said in the previous post, half of my brows were darker than the other half. So, I went in to get my nails done this past Thursday and I had intended to make my appointment for my 3rd attempt and I was going to have her set it up for next Thursday since that would be 4 weeks since my 2nd but, she said I didn't have to wait for 4 weeks. I asked if she could do them then and she said that would be fine.

So, the experience with the 3rd attempt was not the greatest. First of all, it was more painful when she broke my skin. Then, when she got done, I noticed that my left brow was thicker in the inner corner than the right one but, I let it slide. I got home and really gave it a more thorough look and felt really uncomfortable with how uneven they both looked so, I went back to have her thicken up the inner corner of my right brow. She seemed agitated with me and I felt bad about bugging her but, this is my face and these are my brows and, I did this whole thing so that I could feel more confident with my appearance and with my brows. To ignore it and hope that it wouldn't be too noticeable would only have taken a step back and would probably have been a constant point of discomfort for me so, I can't feel to bad if I annoyed her. It is her job to do it right. Of course, that being said, I still feel bad about having annoyed her because I am not the type of person who can just let that stuff roll off my back. I hate to be a pain. All I can hope for is that she was just having a tough day, or a tough time and I was just one more thing that went somewhat wrong and maybe she has since gotten over it.

So, her suggestion this time was to use the Neosporin for only 2 days and then switch to Vaseline. She said that part of my problem is that I have oily skin and the oilier your skin is, the harder it is to get the ink to take. So, basically, if I had done this in the winter when my skin is dry, I would probably have had success sooner. Oh well! I'll survive. Another thing I think that might have caused an issue was that, when I would sleep, the Neosporin would rub off on my pillow or the bed sheet and my brows would end up dry before morning. In order to help my skin absorb the ink, I needed to keep them somewhat saturated with moisture and the Neorsporin needed to stay on. Since they would dry up probably pretty early into the night, they would then start to flake and not enough color would soak in. So, in an effort to remedy that situation, I decided to restrict my movement at night by sleeping on the couch the last two nights and my brows maintained the moisture longer which means that they didn't flake off today (3 days later) like they normally would have. I have a feeling that more color will stay this time around.

In addition to the pain this last time, they bled and oozed quite a bit. I know...gross. Sorry. But, I want people to know my experience so that they know what to expect if they ever want to have this done.

Overall, I may not have had a lot of good to say about this 3 attempt but, I am confident that this will be the last one and that I will finally have the brows I should have been born with.

Hopefully the next time I make a post about this subject, it will be with a picture of the final product and will be a glowing review of the experience! Till then, fingers crossed and wish me luck!