Is It Time or Not Just Yet?

I'm hoping for "Not just yet." What am I talking about? The dreaded Mammogram. I am 37 years old now and tomorrow I am going to see my OBGYN for a checkup. I have heard conflicting stories on when women should start having Mammograms. Most say 40 but, some say 35. I am trying out a new doctor tomorrow so, I don't know which side of that 5 year difference she falls on. And, since I haven't been to see one in 2 or 3 years, I am worried she may decide to punish me for not keeping up with the health of my ta-tas and my na na na na and send me cringing towards the Mammogram. NOOOOOOOOOOOO! I have never heard one good thing about a Mammogram. Of course, it depends on who you talk to. Ladies with small ladies say that the smaller your ladies are, the worse it is. Then, ladies with bigger ladies say the bigger your ladies are the worse it is. My question is: HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW? If you have big girls, you probably have always had big girls, at least, while you have been of the age to get Mammograms. And, say you got them enhanced, you probably still never had to have a Mammogram when they were small and, I have to imagine that you can't get a mammogram with implants because...well, forgive my stupidity but, wouldn't that pop them?
And, to the ladies with small ta-tas, how do you know if it hurts less with bigger ta-tas? If you have never had them, who are you to say how bad or how good, how painful or how less painful another person's experience is. So, shut up. I think it hurts for everyone. How could it not? You are taking your boobies and unnaturally smooshing and flattening them to the thickness of a pancake between 2 cold, metal, unforgiving, cruel plates while someone snaps a picture of your poor abused girls. What could possibly be fun or gentle about that. And, don't get me wrong. Like I said, I have never had one but, logically, I know what is involved. It is not that big of a stretch of an imagination to figure that there is a really awful, tear jerking, mind numbing, wanting to throw something at someone, amount of pain.
So, here is my next question: we can put a man on the moon and make a small portable device that, at its biggest is no bigger than the average hand, that can fit tens of thousands of songs on it. So, why the fuck can't we figure out how to take a high resolution picture of our tits without turning them into pancakes and putting every woman into tears? Just saying.