Business Barracuda

I am not the biggest Feminist in the history of the world but, as a lady, I stand up and applaud any woman who has made a success out of herself and her product, whatever that product may be. And, if you show me 5 successful business women, the one I will scream and cheer the loudest for will be the one who has made herself a successful business woman without being a Business Barracuda. Never heard that term before? You shouldn't have. I just made it up. I think it applies to the bitch I used to work for. Yea...I know. When a woman is successful in business she is considered a bitch. Believe me...I hate calling her anything derogatory. Like I said, I applaud the successful business women of this world because, like it or not, it is a man's world. But, I think that you can be a successful business woman without resorting to being a bitch. Unfortunately, the woman I used to work for never got that memo.

So, here is my story. I went from an easy, barely did much of anything kind of job run by two men, that I worked for for over 6 years, to a job run by a Chinese woman whose only real constant employees were her 22 year old son and her husband. I was a Temp and I worked my ass off for 5 months at that job trying to make permanent. And I really mean that. I learned so much and busted my ass every single work day at that job. My manager loved me. Granted, she and I had our moments but, she always told me what a "good worker" and a "hard worker" I was. She gave me way more than my fair share of stuff to do and taught me tons of stuff. And I loved it. I loved having more work than I could handle because it meant that I worked hard for my paycheck and I left that office every day with a sense of accomplishment. As I mentioned, the job that I had before the last one was very easy. I was the Administrative Assistant and it wasn't a very busy office. I answered the phones which, on some days, may not ring more than once an hour and sometimes, less than that. My two bosses weren't there that much, maybe an hour or two each day. Most days, and most of the day, I was the only person there. If the bosses needed me to do anything, they would call me and let me know what they needed. I would write up a quote based on the information they gave me. I did some data entry. I put together sample packs. I mailed and FedExed some stuff out now and then but, it really was the kind of job where you spend the majority of your time surfing the web, reading a book and occasionally, falling asleep when you were sick or getting sick. Don't get me wrong, I liked it enough to stay for 6 years until new management brought their Administrative Assistant and didn't have a place for me anymore. So, I moved on to a Temp job. I loved the ladies I worked with. I got along well with them all. But, there begins part of the reason that the Business Barracuda let me go. She didn't really want her employees to talk to one another. Not while we were working and not even after work. She had been known to let people go because she found out that they had exchanged phone numbers and had spent time hanging out together. And, I'm not talking about male/female relationships. I'm talking about friendships. She didn't want her employees to develop friendships. But, I'm sorry...that is impossible. When you work for 8 hours a day with people, you develop friendships with your co-workers. It is as natural as leaves on trees. It's a little thing called Human Nature. We are born to seek companionship. Not just physical companionship born out of emotional love for someone of the opposite, and sometimes same, gender. Companionship born out of the need to forge friendships with other people in the world. But, she couldn't tolerate it. So, we all tried to be friendly without pissing Business Barracuda off. A lot of good that did us.

I was a model employee. I was late only once and it was for a doctor's appointment which I told Business Barracuda about 2 weeks in advance. I never left early. I never took more than my 30 minutes for lunch break. Which, by the way, is illegal in the state of Georgia. Our employment law dictates that for every 8 hours of work an employee does, they get one half an hour lunch and two 15 minute breaks. Business Barracuda only allowed us one half an hour lunch. And, if you think that there was a way you could get around it, think again. She had cameras all over the office so, she knew where everyone was at all times. She knew when you came in in the morning, took your lunch break (there was a camera in the break room also), went to the bathroom (none in there but a few cameras in the hall) and left for the day. And, while no one ever found one, we were all fairly certain she had each office wired for sound because she had said specific things to a few other people referencing conversations we had had, that she could never have heard unless the rooms were wired for sound.

You might be on her good side for a few days. You would know that by the way she would acknowledge you. Either by a smile, a nod or she might actually joke around with you. But, in a blink of an eye you would be on her bad side. You would have absolutely no idea what you did to be on her bad side. Your work would be perfect. You would be obeying every single rule but, she would be as cold as ice to you. She wouldn't acknowledge you as you passed her in the hall. Either not by returning your smile, hello or nod. She may not even look at you if you two had lunch at the same time in the break room. If she did say something to you it might be snide and snarky. And, while she may approve of you for a few days, she would disapprove of you for no less than 2 weeks. She once despised me for an entire month. I really couldn't tell you what I did wrong.

Your physical appearance was under constant scrutiny. From your head to your toes and everything in between. I was told what it looked like when Business Barracuda approved of how you looked. She would either give you the elevator eyes followed by a smile and a nod or she would come into your office space, again with the elevator eyes and give you an actual thumbs up. I have been told by many people that I have great style. I won't deny that. I won't even try to be modest about it. I do have style. I like fashion and I would always bring my A game but, I never got Business Barracuda's approval. Of course, there is one thing I can improve on. I don't pay much attention to my feet. I don't mean as far as footwear. I am a shoe girl. What girl isn't? We can't help ourselves. Shoes rock our worlds. And, I am no exception to that rule. What I mean is my nails. I don't entirely love a pedicure. I did finally find a place that I could tolerate a pedicure from but, I have extremely ticklish feet. Not just the bottoms of my feet but the tops too. So, pedicures are like torture for me. And, having my toe nails painted seems like a waste of time and money. They are only going to chip within an hour of getting them done, I always end up getting some kind of nasty infection in my toe nails when I do have them painted so, why bother? But, in Business Barracuda's mind, you might as well be walking around with shit smeared all over your feet if you don't get regular pedicures. Not that she ever expressed that opinion in words. It was only written all over her face. So, I am the scum of the Earth.

So now the part where I tell you how ruthless Business Barracuda is. My nieces and nephew came for a visit. I had asked for the time off about a month before they came. They were coming on a Wednesday. I asked if I could work a half a day for the Wednesday so that I wouldn't miss most of their first day here. She was cool with me taking the time off. That Monday she told me to just take the entire Wednesday off. I could have used the money but, I was happy that I would be able to go with the hubby to pick the kids up. That Monday night she had my Temp agency call me and ask me to take all of my personal stuff home with me Tuesday after work. My radio, any pictures, whatever I had in my drawers. I had a sinking feeling as I asked my agency if I was losing my job. They said no. They told me that she said she just didn't want to be responsible for anything going missing or being broken while I was gone. I didn't believe her because I have a strong instinct and I am rarely wrong but, I was cautiously optimistic. So, I started my vacation after work Tuesday night. Had a wonderful day with the kids and my hubby Wednesday. Thursday we went tubing on the local river and I had a message on my cell phone from my temp agency to call them back, when we got back to the car. So, I took a deep breath knowing what I was about to hear and I made that call. Yup...I was through. But, not just me...2 other girls. Business Barracuda got rid of me and 2 other girls in the same week. She even asked my manager what she thought about getting rid of me and my manager told her she didn't want to lose me because I had done so much for the company. I had learned so much and I was an asset. My last day, I busted my butt there. I got everything done that needed to be done. I didn't leave anything for anyone to have to pick up my slack. Every pile was gone. All the filing was done. Every quote I was given was done to perfection. My desk was pristine. That bitch...I mean, Business Barracuda, canned me anyway. Since then, she has struggled to find a replacement and that was nearly a year ago. My manager quit and, while there were 11 total people in that office when she let me and my other 2 co-workers go, she has been struggling to keep any more than 4 employees, not including her hubby and her son.

So, that is a Business Barracuda. She is exactly the reason that people don't think that woman can run a company without being a bitch. It makes me sad to call her a bitch and a Business Barracuda. I would love to cheer loudly for her as a woman. But, sadly she feeds the stereotype.