Not All That It Is Cracked Up To Be

I lost my job in June 2009 and that came off the heals of having lost a job that I had been with for 6+ years. I won't get into the story of my last 2 jobs and how or why I lost them here. I have another issue to discuss, bitch about and inform you all on right now. And, that subject is the myth that I am lucky that I don't have to work. Don't get me wrong...I am lucky to be in a position where my husband has the kind of career that can afford us the luxury of being a single income household and to be doing well. I am not trying to come across as spoiled or unappreciative. I really do appreciate my luck. But, staying home really isn't all that it is cracked up to be. My husband doesn't want me to work. At least, not right now. And, most everyone will tell me that I am lucky that I don't have to work. Of course, they tell me that because they have to get up early in the morning and do the daily routine of getting ready for work, going to a job they probably don't entirely love, working with some people they may hate, and coming home only to have to repeat that maybe 16 or so hours later. I get that. I've done the daily job grind. Now this is what people don't get about my "job". Yes, I am home every day. No, I don't have a set time I have to get up or a set time I have to be somewhere. But, I do set a time that I want to be up by because I feel like a loser if I don't get out of bed by then. And, I do have things that I do every day. Lonely, boring, same old same old, repetitive stuff. I get up, eat some breakfast, brush my teeth, get dressed, do my hair and makeup, get some coffee, goof off online for a bit, make the bed, clean the litter boxes, do the dishes, straighten up whatever needs to be straightened up around the house, goof off online some more, eat lunch alone, feed the dog, gather and take the trash out on trash day, run any errands the husband asked me to run for the day, make dinner, eat it alone, clean up after dinner while leaving the rest to sit and get cool until the husband gets home, clean up the rest of dinner, watch a little bit of TV with my husband, goof off online some more, shower and get ready for bed. Then, I do it all over again the next day. On Wednesdays and Thursdays I clean the house for an hour or an hour and a half a day. And on Fridays I vacuum and mop the house which can take me about 2 hours. This is my life. I don't do much else. And, I know that some people will still say that they would switch places with me but, believe me...after you have spent several months alone doing the same shit each day, you won't want to do it anymore.

For most people , work is just a paycheck. That is the way they think of it. But, take away the social interaction that people get with their co-workers and the interruptions that they get throughout the day with new tasks or just the few different things that they are given to do and then, yes...work can be just a paycheck. Work, to me, is a place you go to feel accomplished each day. A place you get to see other faces. Talk to other people. It is just me, my 3 cats and my dog here every single day. Now and then I get a lunch date with my husband or one of my friends but, it isn't like a job where you get to be away from your house every day and talk to your co-workers.

When was the last time you woke up excited about cleaning your house, your litter boxes, doing the dishes and making the bed? People think that I am on a permanent vacation. They are jealous of me. But, think for a second about how excited about cleaning your house you get when you have to do it and maybe you will think twice about being jealous of me.

Again, I am grateful for all that I have and for the ability to live the life I live but, this isn't a vacation. A vacation is fun. You go places. Do things. See people. Relax. What I do is lonely. It is repetitive. It is boring and I hate it. I love the sense of accomplishment a job gives me. When I walked out of the office each day, when I was employed, I felt good about myself. I worked hard and I did a fantastic job. Sure, my bosses were pains in the butt and some of the people I worked with sucked so bad both at their job and as a human, that I wanted to remove parts of my own body just so I could beat them with whatever I tore off. But, it wasn't lonely. Every day was interesting in one way or another. I had things to talk about. I had people to talk about those things with. Now I talk about the spider I saw in my sink. What my cats or my dog did the other day. A TV show I watched.

Work people. And don't take it for granted. Boredom and loneliness sucks. A lack of accomplishment wears on your ego. It is embarrassing to say "nothing" when someone you just met asks you what you do. I hate this. And, for the record, I want to kick you in the head when you tell me how lucky I am that I don't work and that I don't have to work. I would rather be working.

Guilty By Association

It has been awhile since I have harped on this person but, I have a new hatred for her. Who? Britney Spears. Yea, I know. What has she done to you lately? Well, she clouded my judgment which seems impossible but, she really did. Actually, I guess she really only clouded it a little. And, here is how. I chose to dislike Kevin Federline because of the bad press that she brought upon him. That being said, I did find myself often thinking that he was the better parent of the two nitwits. But, I still wasn't giving him full credit.

I am not saying he is a saint. He did cheat on his ex with Britney, while his ex was pregnant with their child. That will never be something he can take back and make right.

Why have I suddenly had a change of heart, or a bettering of a not entirely poor opinion of him? As I have said before, I have a bit of a weakness for reality TV and one of my on-again, off-again guilty pleasure shows is Celebrity Fit Club. I have not seen every season. At least, I don't think I have. But, I did catch this most recent season and Kevin Federline was one of the 8 celebrities in this season. He really is a good guy...cheating past not to be ignored but, bygones is the word of the day here. He owns his past mistakes. He is a hard worker. He's humble. And, the reason that people never got to see or hear his side of anything is because he is silent. If anyone would have given him a chance to come out of Britney's shadow, they might have seen the well intentioned person that he really is. If his agents would have given him the opportunity to say his mia culpas, all of the U.S. may have refrained from such names as "Federleazy". We would still have felt for Shar Jackson, his ex and the mother of some of his kids, but, they probably wouldn't have seen him as such a disgusting waste of a pound of flesh.

So, while it will likely not mean a darn thing to him, I do have new found respect for Kevin Federline and I fully believe that Britney Spears is the reason behind his bad reputation. He is not the bad boy that she and the media made him out to be.

Oh...and I wouldn't be doing my non-job if I didn't express my opinion on Britney's comeback, which I know I am a couple months late on talking about. I think it is crap. I don't believe that her crazy girl, slutty girl, trash bag past is behind her. I think that, as long as she stays under her father's conservatorship, she will appear normal and even healthy but, she isn't fooling me. She has shown a couple of times that when her father loosens the reigns just a little bit, she starts to slip. Questionable behavior starts to happen and her inner nut job whore starts to rear its ugly head. This is, of course, only my opinion. And, I hope for her sake, that I am proven wrong. I just see a very tragic Anna Nicole Smith type of a future for her. I truly will be happy to express my own mia culpa if I am proven wrong someday.

I Saw The Signs...

Is reality TV making us all experts at failed love? I must admit that, I have a small addiction to reality TV. I don't always watch them all and, there are some that I won't watch, some that I will watch religiously and, some that I only tune into if it happens to be on when I am channel surfing and can't find anything better. One such show is Little People, Big World. It is about a husband and wife who are "Little People" more commonly known as, but not entirely politically correct, dwarfs or midgets. I have tuned in now and then, throughout the years that they have been on the air and, over the course of the last season, they were showing some problems in their marriage. She had a speaking engagement and had told him about it. He insists she didn't tell him about it and made a plan for the family to go to the British Virgin Islands. In another episode, it was Mother's Day and their twins' 19th birthday and he planned to take a trip, by himself, to Maui, Hawaii. Who does that? It hurt her feelings but she said that she wasn't going to grovel and try to talk him into staying and celebrating Mother's Day and the twins' birthdays with her and their kids. He expressed a minor bit of regret for having planned his trip at that time but said that, and yes, he actually said this shit, sometimes it is a better gift to get out of her way and leave her alone to celebrate Mother's Day. He said, "Sometimes it's a vacation when I leave people alone. It's like, hey Amy, you know what your present is for Mother's Day this year, I'm gonna leave you completely alone." Way to justify leaving your wife on Mother's Day you jerk.

So, I see this marriage crumbling. I rarely watched John and Kate Plus Eight but, it seems the deterioration of their marriage may have been evident to their viewers before it actually ended. I can't help but feel like a little bit of an expert these day, while watching these shows.

And now for the next question...is reality television a curse on a marriage? I have seen the previews for the newest season's premiere episode and it appears that they are trying to take another family vacation and he is screwing it up for everyone. And, I have seen the previews for Tori and Dean's reality show about their relationship...it has a new name and I am too lazy right now to interrupt my own writing to see what name it is going by now...and it looks as though their relationship is a little bit rocky in the new season as well. Granted, he cheated on his ex-wife with her so, while I always hoped the best for Tori, I can't say that I would be shocked to open up People magazine and see that they had split up. And no, to my knowledge, they have not split up. I'm not saying, I'm just saying.

So, the moral of the story is, don't make your relationship public on TV. While your marriage without TV may have issues and may not always be perfect, and it may fail anyway...if you want a fighting chance, don't put it on the airwaves.

It Was Time...

UPDATE:

All apologies for how late this update is but, better late than never.
I went to my new OBGYN and, of course, she asked me, suggested that I, recommended that I, told me, ordered me to get a Mammogram. Actually, more specifically, a Baseline Mammogram so that, in another 3 years when I am 40 and need to start getting Mammograms on a yearly basis, they will have a Mammogram to compare my 40 year old ta-tas to. Yippy freaking skippy!

So, I went home and, against my nature, I did not procrastinate. I nearly immediately called the number that my doctor provided, to schedule my appointment for my first Mammogram. I knew that if I didn't do it immediately, I would procrastinate until she had to yell at me to do it a year from now when I go back to see her for my annual checkup.

I begrudgingly went. All along hating Mother Nature, God or just my Dad's sperm and my Mom's egg for daring to have the gall to make me a girl which gave me boobies. I walked into the office where they do such a heinous, undesirable, cruel and inhumane thing to man's favorite toy. What? Duh...breasts! What did you think I meant? The remote? Who would Mammogram a remote? And just how would that be inhumane? Come on...get with the program here.

Anyway, the woman whose job it was to check me in, was really nice. She tried to calm my nerves by telling me that it wasn't the most painful thing. She said it was painful but not that bad. And, she asked me what my pain tolerance was. When I told her that I have 2 tattoos she said that I would have no problem with a Mammogram. Of course, she didn't have any tattoos so, basically she wouldn't really know just how painful a tattoo was in comparison to having the ever loving shit squeezed out of your tits. But, I digress. She told me I would be fine and sent me to sit in the waiting room.

My Radiologist (I think that is her title) came and got me and she really couldn't have been more sweet. She was really nice, calming and kind...for a woman whose job it is to manhandle another woman's boobies. Seriously. She moves them around. Picks them up. Plops them down...for those women who have big enough boobs to plop down. Shifts them left. Nudges them right. Tugs them forward. And then smooshes them between two cold, unforgiving square something or others. One is glass and I can't remember what the other was. Metal I think. And yes...it hurt. Like a Mother Fucker. But, not as bad as I thought it was going to. Not even bad enough to have me dreading my next visit in 3 years. Don't get me wrong...I would have loved to be able to remove my tits and throw them at someone if it meant the 5 seconds of pain I did experience would stop. But, that being said, it honestly wasn't that bad. If I had a choice between getting my ta-tas fondled and then smashed every 6 months or go to the dentist, believe it or not, I would chose to have my ta-tas smashed every six months. I never thought I would say it but, I hate the dentist more than having my boobs barbarically mistreated between 2 cold hard surfaces.

Oh...and to answer the question about bigger versus smaller? Smaller hurts worse. If Righty could have screamed, she would have while Lefty might have just muttered a quiet "Ouch". So, for all of you big breasted women who say it hurts worse the bigger your ladies are...SHUT THE FUCK UP! I know from experience. I have both to draw from. It may hurt you but, I promise you that it hurts me worse and it hurts my right lady worse than my left one. Put that in your pipe and smoke it!

Is It Time or Not Just Yet?

I'm hoping for "Not just yet." What am I talking about? The dreaded Mammogram. I am 37 years old now and tomorrow I am going to see my OBGYN for a checkup. I have heard conflicting stories on when women should start having Mammograms. Most say 40 but, some say 35. I am trying out a new doctor tomorrow so, I don't know which side of that 5 year difference she falls on. And, since I haven't been to see one in 2 or 3 years, I am worried she may decide to punish me for not keeping up with the health of my ta-tas and my na na na na and send me cringing towards the Mammogram. NOOOOOOOOOOOO! I have never heard one good thing about a Mammogram. Of course, it depends on who you talk to. Ladies with small ladies say that the smaller your ladies are, the worse it is. Then, ladies with bigger ladies say the bigger your ladies are the worse it is. My question is: HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW? If you have big girls, you probably have always had big girls, at least, while you have been of the age to get Mammograms. And, say you got them enhanced, you probably still never had to have a Mammogram when they were small and, I have to imagine that you can't get a mammogram with implants because...well, forgive my stupidity but, wouldn't that pop them?
And, to the ladies with small ta-tas, how do you know if it hurts less with bigger ta-tas? If you have never had them, who are you to say how bad or how good, how painful or how less painful another person's experience is. So, shut up. I think it hurts for everyone. How could it not? You are taking your boobies and unnaturally smooshing and flattening them to the thickness of a pancake between 2 cold, metal, unforgiving, cruel plates while someone snaps a picture of your poor abused girls. What could possibly be fun or gentle about that. And, don't get me wrong. Like I said, I have never had one but, logically, I know what is involved. It is not that big of a stretch of an imagination to figure that there is a really awful, tear jerking, mind numbing, wanting to throw something at someone, amount of pain.
So, here is my next question: we can put a man on the moon and make a small portable device that, at its biggest is no bigger than the average hand, that can fit tens of thousands of songs on it. So, why the fuck can't we figure out how to take a high resolution picture of our tits without turning them into pancakes and putting every woman into tears? Just saying.

Teen Mom

It seems somehow wrong to say but, I love this show. It airs on MTV on Tuesdays at 10 PM ET/PT and, it blows me away every time I watch it. It chronicles the lives of 4 young mothers. Their journeys started last year on the show 16 and Pregnant.

The four girls are Maci, Farrah, Catelynn and Amber.

Of the four of these girls, 3 of them are still in a relationship with the father of their babies. Farrah is the only "single" mother. Maci and Ryan are in a constant battle in their relationship. He doesn't give her the kind of support she needs and she has already broken up with him, only to get back together with him. He promises to change but, it seems like that change is always fleeting at best.

Amber and Gary are always in a relationship struggle too. She is trying to get her GED and his selfishness keeps getting in the way. She too broke up with him and moved out of his apartment. She stayed in a hotel for a week which seemed to have slapped Gary with the harsh reality of losing both her and his daughter. He generously gave up his apartment to Amber and their baby and, in an effort to give Amber some space while providing her with a place to live, he moved back in with his mother for the time being. He seems willing to make the necessary changes for the benefit of his child. We'll see.

Farrah is a train wreck. She lives with her mother and, I think, stepfather. She is determined not to let motherhood interrupt her life as a "normal teenager". So, she is always on the search for a guy and goes out to have fun. I don't know how often she goes out but, each episode has her going out here and there so, it can't be too seldom. Her mother is a bit overbearing but, I can see where she is coming from. She just wants Farrah to stop being so selfish and finally realize that she is a mother and, now isn't the time to be acting like a "normal teenager" while expecting her mother to raise her baby.

This brings me to Catelynn and Tyler. I love these two kids. They continuously amaze me. They chose to give their daughter, Carly, up for adoption. They found a couple who was willing to do an open adoption. Of course, their are limitations. They keep in touch with the adoptive parents and are allowed to visit with Carly maybe a few times a year. They correspond through emails and get photos of her. They miss her terribly but, they know they made the right decision. They are the only couple out of all of these kids who really seem like they will last. Tyler has got to be one of the best guys out there. He is incredibly supportive and, of all of these kids, I think they would have been the best parents. That being said, I commend them for their decision to have their daughter adopted. I can't say enough good about these two kids. They handled everything responsibly. The genuine love between them in the face of such a hard decision and the following impact of having made the decision to give their daughter up is palpable. I can't help but root for them both. I want their relationship to work and for them to grow through their teens, young adulthood, adulthood, and elder years as a couple. I hope that they last and someday are able to have children together.

So, again...I love this show. I feel for all of them and their struggles. Catelynn and Tyler give me hope for our youth when I see how selfless they have proven to be and how strong their bond is. I hope the best for Farrah and I really hope to see her grasp the concept of her role as a young mother in this world. I hope to see Gary and Ryan become the fathers that they should be. And, I hope that Amber and Maci get the support they need and deserve from Gary and Ryan. I hope that Gary can keep up the effort that he showed Amber in this week's episode and I would love to see the therapy session that Ryan and Maci attended be as beneficial as it seemed to be at the end of the most recent episode.

I have high hopes for all of the teens.

It's That Time of The Year Again...

Yup! It's fall and Thanksgiving has officially come and gone. What does that usually mean for me? A lot of things. Most years we have family come here from out of town and this year was no different. My Mother and Father--in-Law and my Sister--in-Law and her boyfriend came for a visit this year. I did my usual turkey with all the delicious sides. I might do a blog entry dedicated to my turkey recipe later but, for now, this entry is about something totally different.

I always get stressed out this time of year because I have a lot of work ahead of me. Which, for me, usually means that I will get sick in one way or another. I tend to get Bronchitis, a sinus infection and some kind of viral thing. I managed to make it through Thanksgiving healthy last year but, ended up getting sick for Christmas, if memory serves. But, over the past nearly 3 years, I have been taking probiotics and immune builders. They really have saved me. Instead of being sick for up to 5 months (from October to March or later) I was only sick for less than 2 weeks last year. A first, for me, since I could remember. I even managed to avoid catching the swine flu from my hubby and his 2 friends when they all had it at the same time. But, that was about 3 or so weeks ago. We threw a party a couple weeks ago and there was another party in the cold night air, in my cul'd'sac in front of my house the week before that. So, I have been a busy girl this season and let myself get run down. I caught a nasty cold 2 days before Thanksgiving. I was really sick the day before when I had to spend the day making my baked goods. My Apple Pie and my Pumpkin Cheesecake Swirl Pie, while delicious, took much longer to make because I had a runny nose all day and was feeling sluggish and just not at all well. So, I really expected to be feeling like a cross hair in a dog's butt today (Thanksgiving) and was not looking forward to my day of meal preparation. But, in addition to my probiotics and immune builders, I started using a Neti Pot. For those of you who don't know what that it, it is a small, blue tea pot shaped plastic thing. You put a package of their saline solution in the pot and fill it to the line with luke warm water and you put it in one nostril, tip your head and pour the solution into that nostril. The solution flows through that nostril and out through your other one by way of your nasal passage. It cleans out and dries out your nasal passage which either helps keep you healthy or makes you healthy sooner. I used it 3 or 4 times throughout the day Thanksgiving Eve and, like magic, I was so much better Thanksgiving day (today). I couldn't believe how much better I already was. Granted, by the end of the night, I was feeling a little worse for the wear but, I tend to feel worse at night when I am sick, than any part of the day. So, I used my Neti Pot 2 more times today and, right now, I am feeling pretty good again. I am looking forward to seeing how I feel tomorrow! After almost 37 years of my life, I think I finally have the key to either preventing illness, or kicking it quicker once I do get sick.

Now, as for any discomfort while using the Neti Pot...there really isn't any. I can't describe it. You really have to try it yourself. It takes some getting used to but, if I can handle it, anyone can. There isn't any pain. Just, fresh air when you are done. The relief is amazing. I will say that you won't feel that much relief if you are using it the first day you are all stuffed up or drippy nosed from a bad cold but, the next day...AMAZING! I woke up this morning fully expecting to start hacking a lung with a severe cough and either all stuffed up or for my nose to be draining like a sieve... as it normally would be but, nothing. A few minor coughs here and there and a need to blow my nose a few times throughout the day but, in light of how horrible I normally feel the 3rd day of a bad cold, I kind of felt like a new person. Even in comparison to the day before.

So, I highly recommend people spend the $14 or more to get the Neti Pot. It saved my Thanksgiving and, who knows how many sick days it has already saved me.

All hail the Neti Pot!

Awww....

New Brows!!!

Drum roll please! Behold...my new brows! This is not the best picture of me but, it will do! The point is my eye brows! Finally! I can get up and get out of the house without having to draw my eye brows on. I still feel a need to put on some eyeliner, foundation and blush but, I would feel fairly more confident leaving the house without any makeup on now. And, starting in March, I will finally be able to go swimming without worrying that I will have a bald forehead. The reason I have to wait till March is to give my brows the proper 6 month healing time. And, the chlorine and chemicals in pool water can damage my brows before that time so, I will wait. But, rest assured...when those 6 months have finally passed, I will take full advantage of it!

Affinity Stoneworks

The first and second pictures are of the finished product. The third picture is a close-up shot of back splashes and granite. The forth picture is a great shot of my island. We love the beautiful knot center left of the island. The fifth picture is the kitchen before with the white laminate and no back splashes.

Note: Sorry that these pictures are not in order from before to after. I set them up that way but, that isn't the way the ended up.

And now...our story!
Wow! I have a new kitchen. After 8 years of living here and roughly 5 years, give or take, of trying to figure out what we wanted to do, the hubby and I finally got new granite counter tops and back splashes in our kitchen. We had white laminate and painted walls before. This is our first house so, we didn't really know how much the extras really enhance things until we saw it in other people's homes.

So, since practically the beginning, we talked about having new counter tops and back splashes done. We started thinking seriously about it 5 years, give or take, ago. But, we were stymied by what exactly we wanted. It was between Corian, Granite and Silestone. I spent lots of time reading up on all 3 materials but, if there are 10 good things about each, there are equally as many bad things about each. So, then we narrowed it down to Granite or Silestone. Again...the good and the bad were equal. In the end, Granite won out because I don't like the speckled patterns in Silestone. They can not duplicate the beautiful linear patterns of the Granite in Silestone. So, after a very long time of searches, culminating in frustration which always resulted in the project falling by the waist side, we finally got our acts together and made our granite decision.

It all started around a month ago when the hubby said that this is the year we do the kitchen. The biggest reason is because I am between jobs right now and have ample time to stay home for people to come and do work. So, I set out to figure out which we wanted. Granite versus Silestone. Once I made my decision, I set out to find the pattern. I looked online and found something I thought that I would like and got pricing from a popular home repair company. We were about to pull the trigger and have them come and do the job when the hubby suggested I go to Affinity Stoneworks to look at some of their granite to make sure that there wasn't another granite pattern that I liked better. I didn't see anything I fell in love with at Affinity so they sent me to their warehouse, G&L Marble. I walked through and they pointed out what they thought was comparable to the pattern I found online. It was completely different than what I thought it was. I wanted something rich chocolate brown and it was actually very pink or mauve. I was disheartened and annoyed and left not having found what I wanted. I was about to wash my hands of this project yet again, out of shear frustration. I told the hubby I wanted to be free of talking about and thinking about the project for 24 hours so I could start with a rested and cooler head. Then I asked him to come with me to the warehouse because I did see some slabs that I kind of liked but really wanted his opinion. We went on a Saturday and we finally fell head over heels for a slab. The name was Dunes and it is this perfect mixture of brown, charcoal, copper and tan and has these beautiful and unique charcoal knots throughout the slabs. We had them hold the slabs, which had previously been held by someone else. We also got an idea of what we wanted for our back splashes which was 6" x 6" tiles called Espresso and 2" x 2" inserts called Tantrum Earth. We then had them come out and tear up our white laminate and do the measurements and templates for the granite. I went and helped them place the templates on the granite where I wanted them so they could cut them the next day. The only drama was that we had to live without our kitchen for a week before they could come out and do the install. Of course, that included the sink because we picked out a new granite composite sink and new bronze faucet. That was hard to get used to because we didn't have counters or plumbing in our kitchen for a week. Really an inconvenience but well worth it.

They came and installed the counters and sink but, we still couldn't use the sink until the next day as the glue had to set. Then, the next day, they did the install of the back splash. Whew...that was a long day. They arrived around 9:15or 9:30 AM and weren't done until about 5 or 5:15 PM. We also had the same guys who did our back splashes come back the next day and do recessed lighting for us. Our original lighting was one hideous florescent light above our Island, one recessed light above our sink and one hanging light over our kitchen table. We had 8 can lights installed which really brightens the kitchen and they are so much more modern than the awful florescent light the contractor installed when they built my house 8 years ago. The last thing we need done is to repaint my ceiling. My kitchen is a celadon green and the ceiling is a lighter shade of that green. So light, in fact, that most people think that it is white until we point it out...or you see the difference from the white rectangle left behind from the florescent light.

So, if you live in Georgia and are considering getting granite and back splashes installed in your kitchen or bathroom, go with Affinity Stoneworks http://www.affinitystoneworks.com/ They are brilliant. They are so knowledgeable. Anything I had questions about were answered on the spot. They are all very friendly and really seem to love what they do. And, if their friendly professionalism isn't enough to snag you, their reasonable prices should. We got estimates from 2 other vendors, both chains and commonly known home repair companies, and Affinity's prices were about 70% less for everything: laminate removal and haul away, granite, install, sink and disposal removal and install, back splash material and install and lighting. The estimate we got from the one big chain store was just for the removal of our laminate counters and the granite and install. We can imagine that if we had also gotten an estimate for the back splash, the entire job might have been twice as much or pretty close.

3rd Time is the Charm? Fingers Crossed.

I just got my eyebrows done for the third time. I have read that it can take 3 times for some people before they get the results that they want so, I am not disheartened. In fact, the 2nd time really did take pretty well but, as I said in the previous post, half of my brows were darker than the other half. So, I went in to get my nails done this past Thursday and I had intended to make my appointment for my 3rd attempt and I was going to have her set it up for next Thursday since that would be 4 weeks since my 2nd but, she said I didn't have to wait for 4 weeks. I asked if she could do them then and she said that would be fine.

So, the experience with the 3rd attempt was not the greatest. First of all, it was more painful when she broke my skin. Then, when she got done, I noticed that my left brow was thicker in the inner corner than the right one but, I let it slide. I got home and really gave it a more thorough look and felt really uncomfortable with how uneven they both looked so, I went back to have her thicken up the inner corner of my right brow. She seemed agitated with me and I felt bad about bugging her but, this is my face and these are my brows and, I did this whole thing so that I could feel more confident with my appearance and with my brows. To ignore it and hope that it wouldn't be too noticeable would only have taken a step back and would probably have been a constant point of discomfort for me so, I can't feel to bad if I annoyed her. It is her job to do it right. Of course, that being said, I still feel bad about having annoyed her because I am not the type of person who can just let that stuff roll off my back. I hate to be a pain. All I can hope for is that she was just having a tough day, or a tough time and I was just one more thing that went somewhat wrong and maybe she has since gotten over it.

So, her suggestion this time was to use the Neosporin for only 2 days and then switch to Vaseline. She said that part of my problem is that I have oily skin and the oilier your skin is, the harder it is to get the ink to take. So, basically, if I had done this in the winter when my skin is dry, I would probably have had success sooner. Oh well! I'll survive. Another thing I think that might have caused an issue was that, when I would sleep, the Neosporin would rub off on my pillow or the bed sheet and my brows would end up dry before morning. In order to help my skin absorb the ink, I needed to keep them somewhat saturated with moisture and the Neorsporin needed to stay on. Since they would dry up probably pretty early into the night, they would then start to flake and not enough color would soak in. So, in an effort to remedy that situation, I decided to restrict my movement at night by sleeping on the couch the last two nights and my brows maintained the moisture longer which means that they didn't flake off today (3 days later) like they normally would have. I have a feeling that more color will stay this time around.

In addition to the pain this last time, they bled and oozed quite a bit. I know...gross. Sorry. But, I want people to know my experience so that they know what to expect if they ever want to have this done.

Overall, I may not have had a lot of good to say about this 3 attempt but, I am confident that this will be the last one and that I will finally have the brows I should have been born with.

Hopefully the next time I make a post about this subject, it will be with a picture of the final product and will be a glowing review of the experience! Till then, fingers crossed and wish me luck!

Eyebrows...

It has officially been one week since I got my eyebrows touched up and, I am feeling much better about them this time around. I still need to go back again for another touch-up and I am really hoping that it will be the last time. That being said, they are much better now. The color held and they are darker now. But, I need to have her touch up the inner half of both brows. The outer half of both of them are is great. But, from about the middle of my brows to the inner corners are lighter than the outer half. If my right one looked like my left one, I might not even bother to have them touched up again because that one is more noticeably not quite right. There is a spot on the inner corner that is darker and held well. From there till about the middle of my brow it is quite a bit lighter. Then from the middle of my brow to the outer corner, it is darker and looks great. I don't know how she'll go about evening everything out so that it is all one shade all the way through each brow but, I am hopeful that the 3rd time will be the charm. For now, I just use a really little bit of my brow powder to even things out. It takes probably less than 30 seconds to do my brows in the morning now. That is a far cry from the 3 to 5 minutes it used to take to draw them in and then soften them up with brow powder. Getting closer!

Brows Part II

I had my brow touch-up done yesterday and am pleased thus far but, am cautiously optimistic given how much they lightened up last time and how somewhat disappointed I ended up being. She did them in a darker color this time around and she was positive that they wouldn't lighten up as much as they did the last time. I probably should have taken pictures of how much they lightened up last time to post here so that you could all see that I wasn't exaggerating in the slightest but, I was disheartened by it so, I didn't feel like it. Anyway, I am hopeful that it takes this time and I finally have the brows I should have always had. I will post pictures of them when they have healed and lightened up. Till then, wish me luck!

Brow Update...

This is to update you all on my brows. A few days after my tattooing, the brows flaked and lightened up a lot. I have had to use makeup to darken them to a shade I feel comfortable with and will be going in tomorrow to get a touch up. That was to be expected as they do tend to lighten up after the first time. I just wasn't aware of how much they would lighten up. I have to admit that I was a bit disappointed at first but, because the outer corner of my left eyebrow is still fairly dark, I am encouraged by that and have faith that they will turn out exactly how I want them. I just really hope it will happen this time so I don't have to wait another month to go back and get them touched up again.

My understanding is that, at some point, your brows become saturated with only as much color as it can take and, no matter how much more color you keep tattooing on at that one appointment, it just won't take any more.

So, we'll see. Wish me luck. I really would love to be able to set aside my eyebrow powder and brush all together.

Eyebrows...

For practically as long as I can remember I have had to draw my eyebrows in because I have a genetic disease that causes me to continuously lose the hair on my eyebrows. The older I get, the less hair I have on my brows. I get that disease from my Mom's side of the family. It wasn't so horrible when I was a teenager because I still had a respectable amount of brow. I still needed to draw them in a bit but, not as much as the past decade...give or take some time. My natural hair color is really light blond so, what little hair I had left was nearly invisible. In order to go out of the house, I would have to draw my brows on or wear a baseball hat to mask the lack of brows. I couldn't go swimming and dunk my head under the water because my brow would disappear leaving my forehead embarrassingly naked. I know that vanity is an unattractive quality but, as much as I would love to be a bigger person and just suck it up and be fabulously browless in public...I just couldn't.

So, several years ago, the trend of Permanent Makeup got under way. I had seen pictures of women, and some men, who had their brows "tattooed" on with Permanent Makeup but, they didn't really look that great to me and I worried that, if I tried to have it done, maybe I wouldn't like it and would regret it later or, what if something went wrong and the person who did it made a mess of things leaving me with a really horrible permanent look of surprise or something worse? I also wondered about aging. What if my brow followed my wrinkles when I got older? And, what if people could tell I had them tattooed? I struggled with the decision, kept it in my mind and pondered it over and over again for many years.

Then I had a visit with my nieces and nephew a couple weeks ago. We went swimming in the pool in my subdivision and the kids had a blast with my hubby. They played in the water as I waded in the water. They made little innocent comments about me not dunking my head in the water and I was too ashamed to explain to them how embarrassing it would be for me to lose my eyebrows and let my unbeautifully bald forehead stand out. They got closer to my hubby which, I love because I love to see them adore him like they do but, it tore my heart out to see it put a distance between me and the three of them. A couple days later we went tubing in the Chattahoochee River but, before we went, the youngest (8) told me that she wanted to tube with my hubby because he would get all the way in the water with her. Ouch! I know she didn't mean to hurt my feelings but, it did sting like no one's business.

When I was a kid, I was a water fanatic. I am by nature as I am a Pisces. It has hurt so bad for me to be missing out on the fun of what used to give me so much joy. I grew up summers on a boat and would swim every day as a kid. Now, I get in only as far as my chin before my vanity takes over.

This got me thinking even harder about Permanent Makeup for my brows. I went to my nail salon a week ago with it on my mind. They are a day spa that does the Permanent Makeup and ironically...or coincidentally, they had recently just decoratively painted some of their other services on their walls throughout the salon. They do Microdermabrasion and other services. And, as soon as I walked in, right there in colorful and eye-catching lettering is "Permanent Makeup". As I chatted with my nail guy, I asked him if anyone that worked for him had had the Permanent Makeup done and he said yes. He didn't elaborate and as I was still feeling a bit scared about it, I didn't push. Then I heard the conversation between one of the other nail techs and a client about the nail tech having had her eyebrows done. No way! What weird universe is this that, as I walk into the salon with this thought weighing heavily on my mind, they have recently painted that service on their walls and now Lena is talking about having had it done and loving it? Really either massively ironic or a crazy coincidence. Perhaps Kismet? Anyway, I got her attention and asked if I could see the work and she obliged. They looked great. Really natural and, she, unlike me, doesn't have a single hair on her brow but, you wouldn't know it to look at her.

Since the start of the Permanent Makeup trends, they have perfected the "Feathering" technique where they make it look like hairs on your brow.

I went home pondering it further. I spoke to my hubby about it and he asked how much it would cost. I hadn't asked that yet so, I called a couple of days later and found out it was a reasonable $220. I waited another few days before I told my hubby how much and told him that, at first, I wanted to wait until I got a new job before I went and had it done but, the more I thought about it, I thought maybe it would be a better time to do it while I am unemployed so that I can heal without it being an issue at work and in public. I know that there will be some scabbing, what I don't know is how bad and noticeable it might get. So, the hubby encouraged me to go for it. I made my appointment this Monday and went and had it done today!

They look great. They are dark right now but will lighten up and, they already look wonderful!

I had her do it a shade between my natural color and the color I am right now so that I can still go back to blond without looking like a freak.

So, here is how it goes. I drew them in this AM how I like them. She numbed me up with some topical Anesthetic and then she cleaned my brow up and drew it in a bit to get the right shape. We went back to the room where she does the procedure and she "Broke the skin" which was just the most minor little bit of prickly. Basically, if you rubbed sandpaper on your skin, that is sort of what it might feel like. She numbed me a little bit more with the topical and went to work. Breaking the skin hurt more than the actual tattooing. The tattooing itself sort of felt like a feather. It was a little bit more intense on the outer edges of the eyebrow as that part is closer to the bone but, it didn't hurt. I know that you would think that it would but, seriously...I have had 2 body tattoos so, I know pain and this wasn't painful at all.

The procedure...for lack of a better term...took only about a half an hour. I waited longer for the topical to kick in and for her to get the equipment ready, and for her to finish up with the client before me, than the time it took to actually do my brows.

She had me sit up to look at them and they were just slightly off. My left one was shorter than the right one so I laid back down and she extended the left one in towards my nose a little and a smidge on the outside and now, they are perfect. And, she was a perfectionist! I knew nearly right away that I had picked the right girl for the job. She was a perfectionist with drawing them in and then was a total perfectionist when she was tattooing them.

So, after this book...allow me to unveil my new brows. Sorry that I can't get a closer shot but, they came out blurry when I tried.

For anyone out there that is pondering having their brows done with Permanent Makeup...go for it. Just find a place with a good reputation. They will likely have a photo album of their work so you can browse through it.

I look forward to being able to get out of bed and head out without being so embarrassed by my browless face. Even though it will be another 6 months before I can dunk my head under water in the pool because the chlorine can lighten my brows, I look forward to the day that I can do that too! I also look forward to being able to rub or scratch my eyebrows without rubbing, scratching or smudging them and walking around looking like a mess all day. How great is this? Words cannot do it justice!