...is to DRIVE YOUR CAR.
If I had a split penny for every time I, or someone I know, have seen people doing stupid shit behind the wheel of their moving vehicle, I would be able to retire to some huge mansion in Hawaii!
1. Ladies, your makeup? Really? You couldn't get up an extra 15 (or for the shellacked, an hour or 2) earlier to apply your makeup from the safety of your bathroom? Or, you can't wait until you get to the parking lot or the bathroom of your destination to apply that eye liner and mascara? Your car is not a vanity. It is to drive...safely...so as not to poke your eye out or kill the poor innocent person who had the unfortunate luck to be in front of you on your road to beautifying yourself.
2. One of the afternoon DJ's on another radio station I occasionally listen to, posed the question: "What do you do, or what have you seen others do, from behind the wheel of your car?" A woman actually called to tell him that she is guilty of this: Eating Shredded Wheat while driving. Not just dry Shredded Wheat. A bowl of Shredded Wheat in milk, with a spoon, from her center console while driving her car. And, she drives a stick shift. She is driving, while using her stick shift, and eating a bowl of shredded wheat in milk with her right hand and steering with her left! Nicely done lady! Oh, and she said that she is a good driver and an excellent multi-tasker. So, apply your ability towards being an excellent multi-tasker to your job. She also said that she doesn't want to get up a few minutes earlier to eat her breakfast at home. Now, that is just selfish. Tell that to the parents of the kid you kill because you are too distracted by your soaking wet Shredded Weat as it falls on your lap.
3. That same DJ started this line of questioning because on that same day he saw two stupid acts while he was out driving. He saw one woman driving with a cell phone in one hand and a sandwich in the other. She was steering with the sandwich hand and breaking from steering while she fed her face. Then he saw another woman driving with 2 chihuahuas in her lap. Put yourself in danger, I am not crazy about you putting me in danger, but, you should be arrested for abuse when you put your pets in danger by letting them ride on your lap. Sorry...just my opinion. When you stop short and throw them through the windshield or crush their bodies with the airbag, don't cry about the injustice when they are dead. It is your fault!
4. The hubby has seen people reading their newspapers while rolling down the road. Too bad you won't be around to read your own obituary that says: "killed by stupidity".
5. And, today, a woman in front of me was doing almost everything but driving. She was eating something, drinking soda pop, looking backwards at her kids in the back seat while gesturing to them with her hands, stopping short because she obviously couldn't keep her eyes on the road what with her hands full of food, drink and some form or erratic Mommy sign language and spinning her head around 180 degrees to look at her kids while moving forward. And, when I managed to get up ahead of her, she came up on me really fast as we were entering the highway in order to cut into the left lane just missing cramming into me. One thing at a time lady. Drive, get somewhere and eat and drink, yell at your kids and live while simultaneously not nearly killing other people on the road!
6. I have seen people drive with their feet up on the dashboard and I even saw one person driving with her left foot out of her window. I get that your left foot isn't really all that necessary for driving but, you should probably keep it resting comfortably on the floor next to your right foot that is doing all of the work.
I know that there are many more stupid things that I have seen and have heard other people talk about. If I remember any of them, or if I see more, I will be sure to update this post, or one like it!
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