Some New Templates

Ok folks...Blogspot has given us bloggers some new options for templates.  Right now, I like the simple, clean look of something colorful so, I'll stick with this one until I decide how much I like the new options they have somewhat overwhelmed me with.


But, should you come back one day and see my blog all kinds of wonky...have no fear!  It's still me!  


Until the next time, enjoy this pretty summery view!

Cancer

So, today I got the news that you never want to hear. My sister was diagnosed with breast cancer. I don't even know what to say. I'd like to be verbose and insightful. I would love to be uplifting for her, my family and myself but, I am not feeling very uplifted right now. I don't have the words to say by which to comfort her. What do you say to someone who has just been diagnosed with one of the world's biggest killers? I've never really understood what people meant by the feeling of "numb" when it comes to getting bad news. But, I get it now. She went in somewhere close to 2 months ago to have a lump the size of a pea checked out in her left breast. My Mom told me and I stayed strong until I got off the phone, and then I cried. Partially because I was already really beaten down what with trying to be strong for my parents only about a month before that as they grieved over the loss of one of their best friends. And, on the same day that I found out about my sister, my Mom also told me that my Uncle had maybe only about a month left to live because of all the cancer in his body. Don't get me wrong, I don't have any good feelings about my Uncle, for very deeply personal reasons, but I did feel bad for my Dad who was about to lose the last of the portion of his family that he grew up with. So, once I got off the phone with my Mom, I broke down. I can be the strongest person you will ever meet when I have to be. But, what you won't see is how I build myself up for that strength and process it behind a closed door. After my sister's surgery, my Mom called to let me know that it was worse than they thought and a lot of their cautious optimism had evaporated. I was strong again, until I got off the phone.

Today is different. I haven't shed a tear. And, this is where that numb comes in. I don't know how to process this one. I don't know what to say to anyone. I don't even know how to feel about it myself. I want my sister to beat Cancer's ass, put it down on the floor, tell it to stay there and call it her Bitch. But then what? She's been told that she has to go for either semi-annual or annual Mammograms. And, since we are only 3 years apart in age...guess where yours truly will be going. My Maternal Grandmother had breast cancer but, it didn't show up until she was maybe 87 years old. And, while it was bad, it wasn't what killed her in the end. She was a breast cancer survivor. I can hope that my sister will be also. Her Cancer is in the early stages. She caught it quickly. Will I be so lucky? Will I be even luckier and just never have to deal with it myself? Right...guess who's starting to process it now? But, I still don't know where to put it all. I'm scared. I'm terrified for my sister. I'm scared for my own ta-tas. I'm worried for my Mom. I'm pissed off that this disease still exists. And, as for now...I'm done. My goose is cooked. I'm fried. I think I just want to crawl into a ball in a corner and cry it out for a little while, with the door shut and be ready for the strength that I will need to have while my family gets through this.

When Lies Prevail, Justice Fails

Well, this sucks. I have been completely riveted over the Casey Anthony trial. Today, July 5, 2011 a jury of Casey's peers gave their verdict and she was found "Not Guilty" of any charges involving the death of her daughter, Caylee Marie Anthony. She was found guilty of the 4 charges of providing false information to law enforcement. I can not tell you how upset I am. I never thought that I would get this interested in this case, or any other. I was never interested in the O.J. Simpson trial. I was interested in the facts of the Scott Peterson case but, did not watch the trial. But, I sort of stumbled on the Casey Anthony trial when I saw an hour long blow by blow of the case just one week before the trial started. Then, I caught the Opening Statements on HLN when the trial started in May, and I was hooked. I have paid close attention. I have learned a ton about court law and our legal system from this case. I don't pretend to have a great attention span. But, this case kept me glued to my TV and I am forever touched by Caylee's death.

So, when the verdict was read today, I literally broke down into tears. I am so distraught over the fact that Casey Anthony killed her daughter, tossed her into 2 garbage bags and a laundry bag, and tossed her into a swamp less than a quarter of a mile from her house. I am distraught that 12 people could possibly think that she wasn't just innocent of 1st degree murder or aggravated manslaughter of a child but, of all charges of the death of her daughter. Not even accidental manslaughter. Are you kidding me? What the heck trial were those 12 people watching? Because, the freaking trial that I watched was one of proof that she killed her daughter. What mother goes out to Blockbuster with her boyfriend, rents two videos, and spends the entire next day in bed with her boyfriend, with absolutely zero emotions the very night and next day that her daughter goes missing? What mother goes to bars and does hot body contests, moves in with her boyfriend the day after her daughter goes missing, and gets a tattoo that says "La Bella Vitta" meaning "The Beautiful Life" weeks after her daughter goes missing? What mother says, "all anyone wants to talk about is Caylee" in a jailhouse conversation with her family when she is frustrated because no one will give her her boyfriend's phone number as she is in jail? Really? What else is there to talk about when a 2 and a half year old toddler has been missing for 2 months? What mother enjoys herself, doing whatever she wants to do, smiling, laughing and partying for 31 days before she finally announces that her daughter has been missing? I'll tell you what mother does that: ONLY CASEY MARIE ANTHONY! Only a mother who purposely, willfully killed her daughter so that she could live "La Bella Vitta". Only a mother who could poison her daughter with chloroform and wrap 3 pieces of duct tape around her nose and mouth to make sure she never breathes another breath of air again.

I am overwhelmed with emotion about this. I am so shocked that I could crap lightening bolts. I'm devastated. I feel like the legal system that I have grown up with has failed Caylee Anthony. I literally felt sick when that verdict was read.

And, as if the wounds aren't fresh enough, it is very likely that Casey will walk out of jail a free woman on Thursday. She has served 3 years in jail on suspicion of murder and, each charge that she faces for the 4 counts of providing false information carries a year in jail which the Defense team has already said they will ask for her to serve consecutively which means only 1 year. With her 3 years served for something that a jury has now found her innocent of, and 98% of time that would be removed from sentencing for good behavior...that murderer may be set free. Free to party. Free to do hot body contests. Free to find another man who will knock her up. Free to be inconvenienced by another son or daughter. Free to...

As if all of that isn't enough, Chenney Mason did the equivalent of a "nah nah nah nah poo poo, stick your head in doo doo" over the Defense's win. Grow the F up! This is not a school yard confrontation. This isn't kickball. This is a case where a 2 and a half year old toddler was murdered by her mother. Your win means that that little girl did not get justice.

Smart Phone Acting Stupid

I think I have mentioned how much I love modern technology. I really do. I love that it is pretty much impossible not to stay connected everywhere all the time.

Except when your modern technology fails you. I love my phone. I have a Droid. It is, for the most part, a fantastic piece of technology. But, that's not to say that I haven't wanted to throw it across the room against something hard and see it shatter into a zillion...or more...pieces. Today is one of those days. I noticed that I had new emails that hadn't come into my phone. I was on my laptop at the time so, I refreshed my email on my phone and still...nothing. Now, I don't tend to get a boat load of important emails so, that isn't even my biggest problem. What I might get is the occasional important phone call. Right now, due to some really horrible family health issues, I really need my phone to be working. THE PHONE...not the other extra bells and whistles that come with my phone. And, by PHONE I also mean texting. I have had times when I won't receive a text and, I have learned that there have been a few times when I haven't received a phone call as well. So, upon realizing that my email wasn't working, I tested my phone by calling it from my home phone line. The fedging thing didn't ring. I got voicemail. I should have left a message but didn't. I promptly hung up and rebooted my cell. Since rebooting, there is no indication that I received a phone call. Not even the "missed call" icon. I tested it again from my home phone and it rang. So, we are back in business...for now. But, if I received any calls while it wasn't working, I will never fedging know and that pisses me off. Same with texts. If the damn phone isn't working, I won't get any functionality out of it at all. It really pisses me off as I rely on that little piece of technology to keep me connected to people from all over the globe. If it doesn't work, what good is it really?

So...I guess I just need to let everyone know...if you call me and I don't answer, and if you leave a message and I don't return the call, I likely never got the message because my lovely piece of highly intelligent technology isn't working. Don't despair. I haven't suddenly decided that I don't care about you or don't want to hear from you. I simply don't have a phone that works 100% of the time. Perhaps not even 50% of the time. Just keep trying. I probably really want to hear from you.

What's Going On?

It has been a while since the last time I posted anything so, I thought I would just sort of cram everything that has been going on, into one post to get you all up to speed. So...here goes.

Let's see, I haven't heard from my friend who is deployed in Afghanistan for quite some time now so, I am pretty much constantly worried about him. But, hopefully he is ok. Hopefully he got the letter and card I sent him. Hopefully I'll hear from him soon. Hopefully, hopefully, hopefully. Ugh...I hate worrying about friends and not being able to do a darn thing about it. But, boo for me.

Next...I have another blog. This one is for my softer side. It is dedicated to my creative crafty side. I started making YouTube videos of my cards and, while I am behind on that one too, I have posted a few of those videos, along with little descriptive entries. You can find that blog here: http://iamastamper.blogspot.com/ I intend to get moving on updating that blog either tonight or tomorrow. It is actually kind of late now so, it will likely be tomorrow. And, as I mentioned my YouTube videos, I have a YouTube Channel which you can find here: http://www.youtube.com/user/JustBloggin1 I am kind of proud of my YouTube Channel. I have actually learned a ton of stuff and, while editing takes some time and the occasional boat load of patience, I love it. I love sharing my passion for crafting with others.

And...I guess the last thing I want to talk about is my obsession with the Casey Anthony Murder Trial. I am hooked on it. I have never been one to watch any court cases in the past. I like the bite sized People's Court and, the hour long true crime type shows like you would find on ID...or whatever that channel is called. But, for some reason, I started watching the Casey Anthony trial since their opening statements, and I have been glued ever since. I want her to be found guilty. And, while I didn't agree with the death penalty when I was a kid, I grew to appreciate it as I got older and, now...I believe that it couldn't happen to a nicer person. She is despicable. I have watched her pretend to cry for her daughter. I have watched her dab at tears that weren't there, wipe her nose and blow it into a tissue that never gets wet, ripped or replaced. I have seen the same tissue hold up to hours and hours of nose, eye and cheek rubbing and have only seen it somewhat crumpled or neatly folded. She's a fake. I think she fancies herself an actress but, other than her remarkable ability to spin believable stories and lies, she is a horrible actress. Hell, Lindsay Lohan could probably show her a thing or two and, for those of you who know me, you all know how very much I dislike everything about Lindsay Lohan. So...take that for what it is worth. Anyway, I want to see Casey Anthony get the death penalty and, I wish that I could have a "Casey Cam" on her when she meets El Diablo in Hell. I'd love to see if she could drum up some real tears than. Not that they would last long as they burned up in the flames of Hell. But, truly...her future position is down there right behind Osama Bin Laden waiting in line to get through the gates of Hell...or whatever the truly deserving have to do when they first arrive where they belong.

So...that's about all for tonight. :)

A New Crafting Room

I am so excited! Eventually I'll edit this and add a picture or two. But, for now...I just wanted to share my excitement. I have a crafting room! Since I started making my greeting cards and gift boxes almost a year ago, I have been working in my living room. It cramped things a little and really always annoyed me that I didn't have a better space to designate as My Crafting Room. Today, after sort of an impromptu conversation with my hubby, we decided that one of our spare bedrooms would get a lot more use if I turned it into a crafting room. So...I did. I disassembled the queen sized bed and I moved this and that behind that and this. Then I started the arduous task of moving all of my crafting supplies, table and just general stuff, up the stairs and into "My Crafting Room"! It is fantastic. I do want to add to it in the future. I would like to add some shelving and some more storage but...it is, at last, my room for all things crafty! I think I will eventually replace my crafting table too. The one that I have is ok but, frankly, if I had the crafting room when I first bought it, I would have gotten something different. The one I have has wheels. I bought it because my plan was to be able to close it up and move it into a little space off of my foyer when I wasn't using it. Eventually, my supplies got so cumbersome that moving it wasn't really an option anymore so, I moved the Sofa Table from one wall in my living room, to another one and crammed my crafting table against that wall, allowing me some 4 feet (if not less) of room in my living room with which to work. I have a really pretty living room. I'm not bragging. I just like it. It is cozy and it makes me feel like home. But, when you add my crafting table, it becomes something less. Even though he never said it, I found out today, after a sigh of relief from both of us once my crap was all in my "Crafting Room", that both the hubby and I were not at all happy with my crafting stuff being in our living room. It...and this is my quote..."crapped it up", and the hubby agreed.

So...now I have a cozy place to chill and watch some TV. And I have a cozy place to craft...and make as Craftacular as I want! Yay!

Ready, Set...Take Off!

I am so excited! About 2 weeks ago, the woman who got me interested in being a Stampin' Up! Demonstrator and making my own greeting cards and gift boxes, emailed me to ask me if I wanted to take over her clientele. She has a full time job and is a very busy woman because she lives a very social life. She hosts and demonstrates for a Stamp Club once a month and she asked me if I wanted to take it over. She is exhausted and has been thinking about retiring her Stampin' Up! business. I am thrilled! I have had a few of my friends buy Stampin' Up! products from me. I also taught one woman and her daughter how to make a card a few months ago. I've also had a few orders from people of cards and crafts that I make. But, it has been a bit slow. So, taking over for my friend is just what I needed! My friend asked me to demonstrate for her last Stamp Club in about 3 weeks. I already have one project I will be doing and am going to be meeting with her to hammer out the details on a second one. The card above is the one I will be demonstrating at Stamp Club using Stampin' Up! products. I designed it myself. There are similarities to another Demonstrator's card but, there are enough of my own ideas to call it at least half my own.

Then today, I got another email from another friend asking me to do a demonstration for her, her daughter and 3 of her daughter's friends for her daughter's birthday. She's the same woman I mentioned above. I taught her how to make a card which she now makes several of to send to her Father-in-law to give as Thank You cards. It was so fun when she and I worked together on that project a few months ago. I find that I kind of like to teach people. Not that I would ever want to be a teacher. But, I do like to help people. And, with something I am so passionate about, I really do love it! I can't wait!

So...that is what I've got going on right now! Wish me luck!

Bruno Mars - The Lazy Song [Official Video]

It's been a little while...or a long one...since I posted anything fun so...without further ado, here is something so fun that I have watched it 3 times in the past hour or so! Seriously...this is my new favorite music video of all time! I love Bruno Mars! Love his music, his sort of outside of the box style and...because I happen to think that a good sense of humor is an outrageously sexy trait...I love his sexy!

Enjoy! I know I did, have and will!

If You Get Away With It...

I don't know why the show Sister Wives bothers me so much. Well, I guess I do. But, the thing is, I do pride myself on being pretty open-minded. But, there are just some things that are so rooted in my knowledge of right from wrong and, I think that plural marriage is morally wrong...and illegal. So, when I watch that show and I see Kody Brown boo hooing and trying to garner sympathy from his viewers because he might go to jail for breaking the law, and his family might be separated, I can't feel sorry for him. Where does it stop? If you get away with breaking the law, shouldn't other people get away with it too? If someone kills someone else, they broke the law so, shouldn't they get away with it if you can get away with breaking marital laws? I know that is a pretty extreme comparison but, it is how I see it. So, let's go a little less extreme. Kody breaks marital laws, gets caught and gets away with it. I break into someone's house and get caught having broken the law of Breaking and Entering. It is just as much of a law as the one against plural marriage. But, if Kody can get away with breaking that law, why can't I get away with having broken into someone's house? We have laws for a reason. They protect the innocent. They maintain balance in society. By breaking the law of singular marriage, Kody has caused pain to his children...a.k.a. "The innocent". They are hurting and struggling with the fact that their father might go to jail and that they may be separated from the kids that they have grown up with as siblings. It's simple...don't break the law to satisfy your junk, have some 18 or whatever kids, brag about it on TV and just assume that you can get away with shitting all over the laws that are the foundation of this country, and you won't go to jail. And for God's sake...don't cry about the results of the bad, law breaking choices that you have made and look for me to feel sorry for you.

Yes...I know this is judgmental as Heck but, I obey the simple laws of this country so, I feel justified in passing judgment on this particular case.

Kody, either love the ONE you are with or dump them and start over.

Choking on Hypocrisy

Ugh! Have you ever had a day where you are proud of something but others keep ruining it by their hypocrisy? So...I thought I was done with this subject, at least on here. But, I have so much to get off my chest. Again, I want to reiterate that I am so very truly deeply proud of the military. Fantastic, outstanding job on taking down Osama Bin Laden. There is no way for me to show my gratitude to its fullest extent other than to say 2 simple words...THANK YOU!

But, again I think that our President deserves some credit. However, instead of swallowing pride, Republicans are practically screaming at his supporters to give credit only to the military. I have repeatedly heard that Obama had nothing to do with it simply because he didn't shoot the gun that took Osama out. So...let's go with that train of thought since you seem to want to argue. If that is the way you feel than the military shouldn't get the credit for it, one man and one man only on this entire planet should get that credit because one man gave the kill shot. So, let's step away from that argument because, I don't believe that. I believe that it was a collective effort by our government and the entire military organization. So, let's go down another path of argument since, it doesn't end as far as the Republicans go. In one breath they say that Obama doesn't deserve ANY credit. In the next breath they say, "Thank you, former President Bush, for staying the course, getting this started, and following through with the promise to bring Osama down". So...am I to understand that you can't give any credit to our current President because all of the credit belongs to the military...however, Bush deserves some credit because he started the war? What the fuck? Here's another nugget I have heard for the past 3 years, since the day Obama took office..."get our troops back home". Obama has taken the blame for us being at war. Obama has taken the blame for everything that Bush started. Obama has been give shit for not getting our troops home yet. Fine. I want them home as bad as anyone else. But, really? Fucking really people? It was ok that they were at war when Bush was in office but, as soon as he was out, it wasn't ok anymore? So let's dissect this...they are still there for so many reasons. One reason was as part of an effort, because it is what Obama was trying to have happen, to take down Osama. So, if he had pulled our troops out, they wouldn't have been there to take down Osama. Let's go deeper. Now it is good that the troops were there BUT they weren't there because of Obama. They were there because of Bush. FUCK YOU ALL! What more does our CURRENT President have to do to make you happy? Let me tell you something, Bush started the war. He broke the economy. He jacked shit all up in all kinds of ways. He isn't in office anymore. He doesn't have any control over our military anymore. He doesn't get a say in a damn fucking thing as far as our government goes ANY FUCKING MORE! Obama did this. I will give credit where credit is due. Bush put things in motion. But, Obama OBAMA finished it! He gave the command to our military to take Osama Bin Laden out. That phone call...that correspondence...that command did not come from the lips of former President Bush. If you want to give credit to Bush, that is your right, but you really should give some damn respect to EVERYONE that was involved over the past 10 years in the efforts to bring down that mass murderer. Get over yourselves. It shouldn't matter that you wish that there was a Republican President in the Oval Office right now. All that matters is that our current President was instrumental in taking down Osama Bin Laden as he is the current Commander In Chief over our military. Stop hating. Open your hearts. Realize that what you are saying, how you are acting, is making you look ignorant and frankly, a lot less grateful than you are trying to come off.

THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS EVERYONE WHO HAD A HAND, OVER THE PAST NEARLY 10 YEARS, AND EVEN AS LONG AS 20 YEARS, IN RELIEVING THE WORLD OF THE DANGER IMPOSED BY OSAMA BIN LADEN. And, I do mean EVERYONE...regardless of what side of the political fence they sit on.

Osama Bin Gotten

The first thing I want to say is THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! To our military for taking care of business and putting an end to the most horrible person to ever walk this Earth. As the men from one of my favorite shows "The Buried Life" said on their Facebook page last night "Osama Bin Gotten". To the men and women of our military, do your thang! You deserve a Klondike Bar, a drink, or even just a nice long nap. What I really want for you is to be able to come back to your own country but, there is still much work for you to do wherever you all are so, for now, I wish for you whatever comforts you want and can get wherever you are.

That being said, I want to also credit the man in charge of our military for his role in this American victory. Thank you to President Obama! I know that the fact that I think he deserves some credit is not popular with those on the other side of the political fence but, if they could set aside their hatred for him, which is based only on the fact that his political affiliation starts with a D rather than and R, they could probably see that he deserves a modicum of credit. No, he didn't pull the trigger and fire the bullet but, he gave the command. It was under his leadership that our military took care of that business. Believe me when I say that I am not only crediting our President. It was our military who sacrificed so much. It was their expertise, training and dedication that got the job done. But, President Obama had a hand in it as well. His dedication and expertise was necessary to help get it done as well.

So, all I ask...all I want...is for everyone involved in this victory for America, to get their due credit. Stop hating for no reason. Open your minds and your hearts. I can guarantee that if Bin Laden had been taken out under a Republican President's leadership, the Republicans would have been happy to give him or her some credit along with the troops.
And, I would have been happy to give a Republican President a pat on the back for a job well done. I could do that because I know that it takes a cohesive unit in any business to get a job done and to do it well. Guidance, many fields of expertise, hard work and dedication may start with one person but behind one person is the same kind of guidance, expertise, hard work and dedication of everyone around them that lends its supportive hand to ensure that the job is completed. I literally don't know a single business in the world that is made up of only one person. So, failures and achievements are shared by everyone in a business.

Ok...to avoid any other rambling, I'll simply say this...Thank you to our military, and our President for doing what was necessary to keep us safe and to end Osama Bin Laden. You are loved. You are brilliant. You are strong and courageous. You fill me with pride. God Bless you and congratulations on a job more than well done!


Note: I made a wordart file on my Mac to use as a picture for this post but, I haven't been able to attach it, no matter how hard I try for the past hour or so. So, just know that it was awesome and I would love to share it with you but, I can't...at least for now.

Crafting For 3 Days

This took me 3 days to complete but, it was so well worth the time. While I don't know what I want to do with this just yet, I can use it to hold some of my handmade cards for future use. Or, I can put some photos in it and use it as a photo album. I could also use it as a recipe book if I wanted to but, I don't really think that I would want this near food where it could get messy. I will likely use it to store cards that I make until I send them out and then I'll just keep refilling it after each card I send out. I might make a different themed card for each tab. So, one tab will be for Birthday cards. One will be for Sympathy cards. Another for Thinking of You cards. Another for Get Well Soon cards. Maybe one pocket can be for stamps and labels. Seems I might have just worked out how I am going to use it! Thanks for letting me brainstorm.

Anyway, I found the video on how to make this on Youtube. One of my favorite fellow Stampin' Up! demonstrators made one very similar to it. Here is the link to her video: http://www.youtube.com/user/dawn5377#p/u/0/xafbBQ3kdh4 I hope that works. I've had issues figuring out how to post links in the past but, fingers crossed that I got it right. If not, go to YouTube and type Dawn5377 into the YouTube search engine near the top of the screen and it will take you to her YouTube channel. She is really talented and I often look to her for inspiration.

I used several similar elements but, I also incorporated a lot of my own. Most of the items I used in mine are from Stampin' Up! Every stamp and ink pad I used was from Stampin' Up! But, I used a few punches, some paper, a few stickers, some beads and one other effect from my local craft stores.

I had a blast with this project and I think that I would like to make more in the future to give away. I actually think that they would be great to make as a way to package a pack of greeting cards for friends and family when they ask me to make cards for them to give to others.

It is intricate. There are a lot of details. But, for as intricate and detailed as it is, it is also really easy to make. I think what took me so much time to make it was that I was trying to decide what elements I wanted to incorporate. It took me some time to figure out how I wanted to decorate it. What stamp sets, embellishments, colors, stickers, paper and punches I wanted to use, took time to choose. It is all a part of the process. I often wonder if it would help me save some time if I worked out a little blueprint of my projects before I actually dive into making them. But, then again...that could take just as much time so, perhaps I will just continue to fly by the seat of my pants.

Anyway...I hope you all enjoy this. It is one of my favorite creations so far. I am super proud of it and don't mind bragging! I MADE THIS! :)

Thank You!

I believe in making amends and giving thanks when it is due. So, I am sorry for being so vulgar and vicious in my previous post about my government. And, thank you for making things right, working things out and doing what was necessary to ensure pay for our military! I knew my faith in my government and my president wouldn't be failed. But, I had steam to let off and so I did. While I won't apologize for the fact that I let off that steam, as I feel it is my right, I will apologize for the words I chose to use in blowing off that steam. It was vulgar, immature and disgusting but, I let my temper get the better of me and for that, I am truly sorry. From the bottom of my heart, the tip of my longest toe and the top of my head, thank you so much for making sure that my friend gets the paycheck he deserves and he can take care of himself and his family this month. And thank you to my president, for showing me that I can count on you when the chips are down. Thank you for not failing me. I helped put you where you are today. It is nice to know that my trust is valued and warranted.

Shit! Why?

I love my country and I love my President. I voted for him and was so joyful when he was elected. But shit! I have friends in the military and now they aren't going to be paid? Fuck! I want to continue to support my President. I genuinely think that he has made some improvements. The job market has improved bit by bit. The economy has gotten better. I have said before that he had a huge mess to clean up so, it is ridiculous for the naysayers to continue to expect him to have been the immediate solution and it really pisses me off when some insist on blaming him for it when he didn't start that fire and he is basically a dang one man fire department.

But this son-of-a-bitching shitty crap about the military not being paid because the government has to shut down because they mismanaged the budget? What the fuck people? How about you don't pay yourselves? Or...if you can't pay someone, then you bring them the fuck home from their deployments. I am not going to be another sheep following the herd about the 3 wars we are in now...or is it 4? Who can count anymore. Again, I say, he didn't start 2 or 3 of those fires but he is now in charge of putting them out so, try attacking him on the inability to end it and not rewriting our country's history and blaming him for starting the wars that dude man jackass started before him.

I AM FUCKING PISSED OFF right now. I just want things to be right. I know that life isn't fair but, people can make things acceptable and not paying people who have set aside their own comforts, time with their families, holidays, and sometimes their lives entirely to protect our freedoms is the worst slap anyone could ever give anyone else. Fucking cut your mismanaging paychecks. Sit in your comfy office, work your asses off, make things right and don't get paid for it for one month but pay our men and women who would lay down their lives to protect your stupid fucking irresponsible asses.

Again, I love my country and I really want to support my government. But they are breaking my heart for my friends in the military, and of course for those I don't know. And, with any broken heart comes anger. Raging, irrational, vulgar, cursing, spitting, fighting mad angry venom.

Please...PLEASE...make this right. Do the right damn thing and take a cut to your wallet, not to the wallet of those who serve us our freedom in our warm beds at night while they sleep behind a rock in the cold desert.

Please stop breaking my heart and my spirit. Please don't hurt my friend. Please give him his well-deserved paycheck so that he can take care of his family and himself.

PLEASE!!!!

Screw Yesterday!

Yesterday sucked. My mom called me crying because her best friend's boyfriend died of a heart attack on the treadmill. He was 66 and in good shape and he just died. My mom and dad were really close to him as well. They were all about as thick as thieves so it was a day full of tears for both of them. They are older than both the man who had the heart attack and his girlfriend so, it was hard for them as it forced them both to look at their own mortality.

It is hard for me to handle my mom crying. There is nothing more heartbreaking than hearing my mom cry on the other end of the phone and being completely helpless as to how to cheer her up and comfort her. I've never been good at comforting others. As compassionate as I am, I never have the words to express my sincerest sympathies, nor do I have the words to help them feel better. I don't really think that there are words anyone could say to make a person feel better when they experience loss. I've experienced my fair share. When I was about 18, one of my friends died in a car accident. I was inconsolable. Just a little over 6 months ago, a friend of mine from college passed away suddenly. I don't know how he died and have not felt comfortable asking his widow, also a friend of mine from college, and there wasn't anything specific in the paper or online about how or why he died. So, of course there is speculation which only makes me feel worse about his death. I've lost all of my grandparents. And, like most people, I've lost pets. I know in light of human loss, some might think that something silly for me to mention but, I feel as strong of a bond to my pets as I do to any human, and sometimes and even stronger bond to my pets than some humans. So, for me it is as natural to count pets among my losses as it is to count relatives and friends. And, along with my parents' loss of their friend, one of my friends had to put her cat to sleep yesterday as well.

It wasn't just my mom and dad that felt the loss of their friend. My brother had grown close to him as well. They all hung out together at the marina where the couple and my parents all dock their boats and, that included my brother and his 3 year old daughter. So, while my parents were forced to face their own mortality, my brother was faced with something much more innocent and almost on the opposite side of the spectrum. He must now figure out how to explain death to his 3 year old as she often asked him when they could go play in their pool and hang out on their boat.

To put it as bluntly as I can...death sucks. Especially when it is senseless. How does a man who takes great care of himself just pass away while literally taking good care of himself? How does a guy who was maybe a year or so younger than me die? How does a teenager who has never even left the state in which he was born and hasn't even gotten to attend his prom, graduation or put his first step into college die driving from point A to point B? I'm pissed. I'm sad. And I want to understand the impossible to understand. But, for now, I guess I'll just have to settle for getting it off my shoulders.